Unprivileged & Yet Entitled
by MarilynBaby
Summary: Bella is content with her small, happy life. She lives in downtown Seattle with her best friend Jasper, working as an assistant in a small patisserie. She has all she has ever wanted. But when one phone call turns her life upside down & forces her to face the reality she's been running from, will she crumble under the pressure? Or rise to the occasion?
1. Prologue

**Authors Note: This idea suddenly came to me as I was trying to go to sleep after a week of insomnia. I tried to ignore it but it nagged at me incessantly until I couldn't bear the thought of it leaving me altogether. This is the story of a girl, who wanted nothing but suddenly had it all, even though she didn't want it in the first place.**

**I hope you enjoy.**

**P.S: Please excuse any grammatical errors, I'm in desperate need of someone who can punctuate their way into the punctuation Olympics. Beta desired. **

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**Prologue****.**

I didn't have the best life, nor the most glamorous, but I loved it despite the flaws. To me, the flaws were what made it perfect.

I lived in downtown Seattle with my best friend Jasper in a one bedroom apartment, above a Chinese food restaurant. Sure the smell of Kung Pow Chicken and peanut oil always hung in the air, and the noise during happy hour wasn't appealing, but it was home, and I loved it.

I worked in a small patisserie on the outskirts of town as a baker's assistant. I had no major responsibilities but I cherished the opportunity. I had earned it, with no help from anyone else.

I thought I had it all.

Sure it wasn't every girls fantasy, what my life as, but it was mine.

Small, simple, reliable.. all the things my childhood wasn't I now had.

But then something happened.

One tiny phone call changed my life. A few short sentences broke my heart. And there went my simple, small, reliable life, and I was thrust back into the reality I happily escaped in the first place.


	2. Chapter One : Numb

**Authors Note: Okay so this is Chapter One. I know it's not too long, but this is the first story I've ever written that is all human, so I'm having a bit of trouble navigating through this new terrain. Please be patient. I know I will get better at this.**

**I will probably post once a week, maybe more or maybe less, but I will try and notify you with any changes in the schedule if possible.**

**With that being said, I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**Reviews are encouraged, every writer, good and bad need feedback.**

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**Chapter One.**

I was numb.

Not from the chilly air that was blasting from the tiny air conditioner, nor from the short clipped tone of the woman who just called me.

But from the devastating news I'd just received.

Sophie… my childhood best friend, who I shared everything with, and in turn shared everything with me. She had just gotten married in May to Dylan Roth a stock broker who she met at a charity gala in New York. I was her maid of honor, witnessing the happiest day of her life. Watching her say her vows, and beginning her new life with him, she had never looked happier.

Sophie.

Who's cruise ship just capsized, leaving dozens, possibly hundreds dead including Sophie and Dylan.

Staring out the window I tried to make sense of this. I tried to rationalize away the events of the last twenty four hours, desperately hoping this was a horrible dream, to no avail. Loss was something I had become used to in my life, something that was to be expected. But however accustomed I had become too loss, to having something and then it fading almost it seemed, as quickly as it had come, I couldn't have expected this.

I should have been furious, angry, and inconsolable. I wasn't. I was empty, hollow and devoid of emotion.

Despite all of this, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get the image out of my head.

The image of helicopters hovering over the sinking ship, life boats scattering the blue seas as hundreds of men, women and children tried to save themselves. The bobbing heads of people who weren't so lucky, and were drowning as the camera's kept rolling.

A silent tear slid down my cheek. Dignity be damned, I supposed.

I barely registered Jasper walking into the apartment, until he kneeled in front of me.

He placed his hands on my face, lifting it until our eyes met.

I could tell by his somber expression, he'd seen the news, he knew.

"Bells." His eyes held sympathy and understanding.

"I… She's… The ship…" I began, my voice cracking.

He pulled me close, wrapping his arms around me, as more tears flowed down my cheeks and yet no sound escaped.

I guess I fell asleep at some point, because I awoke on the couch, my feet in Jasper's lap. His eyes were focused on the T.V which was muted, the Closed Captioning filling him in on all the latest details of the catastrophe that stole my friend.

A sob escaped my lips and Jasper looked over, immediately turning off the T.V and focusing his attention to me.

"Bella, I'm sorry." He said softly, his voice betraying the strong façade he was trying to build.

I shook my head, wiping away the tears, and moving my feet to the cold hardwood floor.

Taking a deep breath, I spoke.

"I have to go to Forks. I have to plan the … funeral. I don't know what Dylan's family is going to …." I broke off.

His eyes met mine, and I could see the shock reflected in them.

He knew how much I detested Forks, and the people who lived there.

Forks, the town where I grew up, where my father was the police chief and everyone knew who I was. The town I hated sense the day I moved there when I was 11, after my mother abandoned me. And the place I ran from, just as soon as I could.

Sophie was the only one who I even cared enough to keep in contact with, except for the occasional calls I made to Charlie, my dad, just so he knew I was alive, and doing well.

I knew I couldn't run forever. I knew I would eventually have to go back, I just didn't think it would be this way, under these circumstances.

"Bells, do you think that's a good idea?" Jasper asked.

My brow furrowed.

"Good idea? Do I think it's a good idea? No! Of course not, I think it's a horrible idea but someone has to plan this …." I paused, trying to think of another word, but I couldn't.

Taking a deep breath, I continued. "I have to do what is asked of me, and I can't do that here.. in Seattle. I have to be there, to make sure things go as planned. I know her parents. They will try and turn this into something Soph would have never wanted."

His eyes softened, "I'm sorry, your right. Is there anything I can do for you?"

I stood up and went to get my suitcase.

Grabbing various odds and ends, clothing, bathroom items, and a few books, I began to pack.

"I don't know, Jas. Just call work and tell them I have a family emergency and I won't be able to come in for a week or so. Tell them to call my cell if they have any questions."

Folding some summer clothes, and some sweaters in case the weather took a turn for the worst, which always happened in Forks, I crossed the tiny room and grabbed my Ipod and charger.

With my things packed, I zipped the small suitcase closed and grabbed my netbook.

"Jas, can you get me a ticket for the next greyhound heading to Forks? I'm going to go take a shower." I asked, grabbing a towel heading for the bathroom, not pausing to here his answer.

As I stood in the shower, I could finally break. Tears mixed with water, as I sobbed for the loss of my friend, and for the inevitable trip home.

Turning the shower off and stepping out, I dressed quickly leaving my hair wet, hanging limply around my shoulders.

I took a deep breath before opening the door.

Jas looked up from the small computer, a piece of paper in hand, and spoke.

"The next bus leaves at 5:45. I'll drive you to the station. I've called work and they understand, and they send their condolences."

I managed a small smile, before grabbing my phone.

4:50 P.M stared back at me.

I looked up, plastering a fake half smile on my face, preparing for the worst, and hoping it wasn't a particularly prolonged experience.

'_This is it_.' I thought. '_No turning back_.'

"Alright, Jas. Ready or not, here I go."


	3. Chapter Two : You Can't Run Forever

**Authors Note: Dear readers! (Assuming anyone is reading this, HAHA.) Sorry for the delay. The site has been a little weird for me lately and I wasn't able to sign on and post this chapter (after my internet debacle) for two days. So here it is, Chapter Two. I hope you enjoy it!**

**Big thanks to ****SUNFLOWER3759 for being an awesome beta with incredible patience.**

**Chapter Two:**

**You can't run forever.**

"You can't run forever."

Those words kept playing in my mind.

I heard them when I entered the bus depot, Iwanted nothing more than to run the opposite way, to run back home and crawl under my bed and hide.

I heard them when I handed over my ticket and received my baggage claim tag. And againwhenthe porter motioned to the spot where I was supposed to leave my suitcase, and again, when he instructed me to board the bus.

I sat in the middle of the crowded bus, surrounded by faceless strangers, and an inconsolable baby who wouldn't stop crying. I felt for the baby, I knew how it felt.

I knew how it felt to be inconsolable. People trying to appease you, make you feel better when they had no idea why you were upset, nor the least bit of a clue how to make you happier. I smiled at the baby's mother, who's faceshowed herstress. Her eyes spokeof the incompetence she felt**,** and also showed the love she had for the squirming baby in her arms. She was doing the best she could with the hand she was dealt.

The driver boarded the bus, shooting the mother a warring look that said, "Get that baby quiet before I pull the bus over in some desolate part ofWashington State and kick you both out." I felt sorry for her, but I felt for the baby even more.

Soon we were on our way** , **and I kept my eyes focused outthe window, the whizzing scenery had my attention, as I tried to figure out how I was going to handle the next week.

We arrived all too soon for my liking.

I gathered my belongings, heading outside to the row of cabs waiting for passengers. I found one**,** stuck my suitcase in the trunk, and mumbled my destination. As we drove down all too familiar streets, I was hit with nostalgia. Memories thatI thought were long forgotten, places I didn't want to remember, were as vivid as if I had never left.

The cabbie turned down another street, and I looked up to see that it was the street I used to live on. The street Charlie still lived on.

As we passed the house, I saw the cruiser sitting outside; The lights from the living room were visible from the street.

"Slow down." I instructed the driver.

I don't know what compelled me to pay the cabbie, grab my suitcase and walk towards the house. I don't know why I walked up the walk, up the steps and stood there, feeling like an outsider, so displaced, staring at the front door. I just felt like I had too. A compulsion I couldn't stop, couldn't ignore.

Taking a deep breath, I knocked. My body was a bundle of nerves and fear, but I had come this far, I couldn't just give up.

After what seemed an eternity, but was probably just a few moments, the doorslowly opened.

There I was, face to face with Charlie, my father, who looked just as shocked as I had imagined he would.

"Hey." I managed, though my voice was barely above a whisper.

He stood there, mouth agape.

I supposed it was the shock of seeing his long lost daughter, just standing there..

"Hey there… Bella." He stuttered. He seemed flustered. I had never seen him anything but composed, and in a sick way I kind of enjoyed it. Seeing him wriggle like a worm under my stare was empowering, especially after all the timesI had felt that way around him.

"Hi. Um, do you think I can come in?" I shuffled my feet, trying to fill the awkward silence with something, anything.

"Sure, of course.. I mean, yeah, come in." He opened the door wide enough so I could make my way inside**.**

As he shut the door I looked around. Everything was the same. Pictures in the same place they were when I left, the furniture still tattered. I could almost bet that the magnets on the fridge would be in the same spots** , **too.

I expected that my unannounced arrival would have Charlie feeling on the spot, but that wasn't the case. Whatever bout of shock he had greeted me with on the porch had somehow worn off once I was inside. He took my suitcase, putting in down in front of the stairs, and turned to me.

"So, how you been Bells?"

I wanted to roll my eyes. He knew better than to play the concerned father.

"I've been okay, still working and all. I just came to.. take care of the… um.." I coughed, it felt like there was a frog in my throat. Sighing, I continued. "The final arrangements for Soph."

I looked in his eyes and saw the recognition there. He knew what happened** , **and I was relieved not to have to repeat the story, the reason why I was here.

He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, "Yeah, I heard about Sophie. What a shame. She was such a nice girl."

"That she was." I agreed.

Before I lost my nerve, I took a deep breath and asked the one question Inever thought I would.

"Do you think I can stay here? For a few days, I mean. It's okay if you don't want me to,I mean,I did just show up unannounced, but staying at the one Hotel in Forks doesn't really appeal to me, but I can if…" I was rambling.

"No, um, that's fine Bella. Your room is still the same, I didn't touch a thing." He said.

I smiled, walking past him, grabbing my suitcase. As I walked up the stairs I could have sworn I heard him say, "It's yours for as long as you need it."

Making my way up the stairs, déjà vu hit me like a ton of bricks. I shook it off, as I hit the top of the landing, and opened the door to my former room. Everything really was ,exactly the same.

The lilac bed spread, my desk, the old hunk of a machine masquerading as a computer; Everything was exactly as I left it.

Mechanically, almost without thought, I unpacked my things and changed into my pajamas. I laid down on my bed, covering myself up in more than just the duvet. As my eyes closed and the tears fell, I felt more secure than I had in a very longtime. I wished Sophie was here to experience it with me. But she wasn't.

And that thought alone, scared me more than anything.


	4. Chapter Three: I know why I'm here

**Authors Note: This chapter came so easily to me so I'm posting it sooner than I expected. Don't get used to it, lol kidding. I'd like to thank everyone who's added me on author alert, reviewed and added this story to their favorites. I'm glad you like this story and are getting some enjoyment from it. **

**Also, infinite thanks to my beta SUNFLOWER3759. You ROCK!**

**Chapter Three **

**I know why I'm here and it sucks.**

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When I woke up the next morning, I was temporarily disoriented and had no idea where I was. As I looked around my surroundings, within a few moments the events of the last few days hit me. I fell back into the pillows, groaning.

This couldn't be happening. Some conscious part of me knew that this was real, Sophie was gone, and I had things that needed to be done. The rest of me feuded with that part, telling it to go away and shut up, trying to convince myself that everything was fine.

But it wasn't, resistance was futile, I knew what was real. She was gone and I wasn't.

I forced myself to get out of bed, and trudged downstairs,half expecting to see Charlie at the table reading a newspaper or drinking coffee.

However, when I reached the bottom of the stairs I looked around only to find no Charlie in sight. Making my way to the small kitchen I saw a note on the table.

_Bells,_

_Had to go to the station, sorry I couldn't be here when you woke up._

_There isn't much in the fridge but I taped a __$20__to the back of this note._

_Get yourself something to eat, okay._

_-Dad_

I cracked a small smile. That had to be one of the most thoughtful things Charlie had done for me in,well … ever. Turning over the note, I grabbed the money and made my way back upstairs to get dressed.

Twenty minutes later and fully dressed, I grabbed the $20and made my way to the front door, when a thought occurred to me. How was I going to go anywhere when I had no transportation?

As I turned to head to the phone, a post-it note on the front door caught my eye. Upon further inspection, I saw it was from Charlie once again.

_Bells,_

_Just realized you have no car. Take __the __truck, it's yours anyway._

_Keys in the ignition. _

_-Dad_

For the second time in less than an hour I cracked a smile at Charlie's antics.

Driving to the local Thriftway, I remembered why I loved and hated this beat up old truck. It backfired like a shotgun, but was as safe as an army tank and most importantly, it was mine. After I parked I decided to leave the keys in the ignition, and the doors unlocked. Anyone who would steal that hunk of junk probably needed it a lot more than me anyway.

Heading inside, I felt nervous. People knew me here, hell people knew me everywhere. This was a small town and I was the long lost daughter of the police chief, the one who left. The one who promised to call and write, but never did. The one who only wrote and called Sophie, forgetting everyone else, even those who were good to her.

Keeping my head down I walked towards the prepared food section, intending on grabbing a turkey club sandwich and hightailing it out of there.

That was my intention. That was the plan.

"BELLA!" Someone screeched. I jumped looking around and there she was, the bane of my existence, Lauren Mallory. She hadn't changed much, still dressed like she was in high school, still a bottle blonde, still completely fake. Her heels clicked on the linoleum flooras she strutted towards me, breasts up to her chin, as her too short skirt swaying around her upper thighs.

"Oh my god! That is totes you! I knew it! I'd so recognize you anywhere. Wow, you haven't changed." Her sickly sweet smile made me want to vomit more than her words which were laced with discontentment.

"Um.. yeah, hi." I said.

She dismissed my greeting, continuing to ramble on as if I was interested**. **

"Yeah, like I totes heard about what happened to Soph. We like, all totes miss her. She was like so cool, I never understood why she hung out with little mousy Bella. But like, anyway, her husband was so gorg, such a shame that body went to waste, right?" She finally shut up but that was only to take a breath. I could feel the heat rising up in my body, but I refused to act out. I refused to give her the satisfaction.

"I mean, my sister's cousins brothers ex-girlfriend totes had a fun time with him in the janitors closet at their high school back in the day, and she so said he was like, hung. Wayyy hung." She winked, I gagged. "Did you like, ever see?"

I opened my mouth to reply, but she giggled, clapping a manicured hand over her mouth in mock shock.

"Oh-em-gee, I totes forgot who I was talking to! Of course _you_ never saw! Duh! I mean, look at you." She looked down at her watch, then at me.

"So like, I have to go. I'm meeting this super gorg guy for lunch. Dim sum and then some if you totes know what I mean, but you probably don't. Anyways it was nice catching up with you." Giggle. "Ciao!"

And with that she strutted off and I imagined myself sinking into the floor.

I grabbed my sandwich and made my way to the counter.

I'm completely numb now.

Mike Newton is the checkout boy. I remembered him from high school.

He used to be my shadow.

He says hi.

I smile, returning his greeting. He asks me about my life, how Seattle has been.

I don't remember what I said.

I mechanically get in my truck, and drive back to Charlie's.

When I get inside there is a blinking light on the machine.

Messages.

It's not my house but I press the play button anyway.

It's a mirage of redundancy. Billy Black, Charlie's friend from La Push.

Angela Webber, one of my old friends who I gave the boot when I figured she didn't fit in my life.

And a message from someone I didn't know; An Alice Cullen.

She says something about Sophie and a will. I press the delete button as quickly as I can.

I've heard enough from my past today.

I sit down at the table, eating my sandwich.

I don't ever remember feeling so alone before. I don't remember feeling so lost.

It seems like things are spiraling out of my control. Things I didn't anticipate, or expect, are coming at me like fly balls at a Mariner's game.

I used to be the couch. Now I'm in the outfield. Now I'm just waiting for something to happen, something unexpected for me to catch and throw back at the world.

It's annoying. I hate it.

A knock on the door breaks me from my depressed stupor.

I stay in the kitchen, determined to let whoever it is stand out there until Charlie gets home. I'm in no mood for visitors.

Whoever it is knocks again, louder.

I roll my eyes. "No one's here." I shout at the door.

It takes a second before I hear a reply.

"Okay Bella. No ones is here then. So, hey no one, want to open the door?"

I recognize that voice. That voice belongs to a person who should be in Seattle.

I rush to the door, opening it.

Jasper.

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**Please Review. I'd appreciate it.**


	5. Chapter Four : When going into battle

**Authors Note: So here is chapter four! This took a while to get out of my brain, but it's here now. And before you delve into this chapter I'd like to take some time and thank the people who are reading this, and the small number of people who have reviewed. If you enjoy this story, please recommend it to your friends, drop a review (good or bad they are all appreciated) or add it to your favorites.**

**Stories don't get anywhere without someone reading them. Authors don't get better without feedback.**

**With that being said, I'd like to once again thank my lovely beta SUNFLOWER3759. She's amazing. :) **

**Now off you go.. Enjoy, and please remember to review.**

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**Chapter Four**

**When going in to battle, it's good to have backup.**

"Jasper, what are you doing here?" My brain was whizzing with a thousand thoughts, most of which were centered on Seattle and the fact that Jasper obviously wasn't there.

He snorted, dropping his bag on the porch with an audible thud.

"Is that anyway to greet your best friend Bella? Gosh, you have absolutely no manners." I rolled my eyes before engulfing him in the biggest hug I'd given anyone in days. He wrapped his arms around me and I let out a breath I didn't know I had been broke apart, and I slapped his chest lightly.

"Why the hell are you here?" I asked.

Now it was his turn to roll his eyes.

"I'd love to tell you Bells, but are you going to invite me in or what?"

I mentally slapped myself. "Of course, duh. Come on in."

Closing the door behind him,Jasper surveyed Charlie's house. I could practically see him trying to imagine me here.

I walked into the kitchen, hearing Jasper's footsteps behind me. Without warning I turned around, my hands on my hips eyes demanding.

"Now your inside, so tell me, why are you here? And how the hell did you know where I was?"

Without answering Jasper sidestepped by me and plopped into one of the chairs surrounding the kitchen. He grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl throwing it up in the air, a grin on his face.

He was annoying me on purpose and it was working.

Grabbing the apple mid-air and putting it behind my back, I asked again.

"Seriously Jasper, why are you here? What about your job? And what about the apartment? Who's going to -"

He successfully cut me off, chuckling.

"Woah,woah,woah Bella, calm down." Smiling, he continued. "The apartment is fine. Mrs. Landry is watching it as we speak. I had about two weeks of vacation time saved up, so I cashed in and came here. But if you'd prefer I head back then I can just . . . "

I flung myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and almost toppling the chair over in the process. "No." I mumbled into his neck. "I'm seriously glad you're here. Shocked, surprised even, but glad you're here."

I ungracefully climbed off of Jasper's lap, almost falling off my chair in the process.

I could feel myself blushing; I mentally cringed.

Clearing my throat, trying to clear the awkwardness out of the room as well, I said the only thing that came to mind.

"So, you wanna share my sandwich?"

Jasper smiled, "Sure Bells, anytime."

After eating, I cleaned up the semi-spotless kitchen while Jasper picked a movie out of Charlie's limited DVD collection.

As I made my way into the living room I laughed out loud at his choice.

"Fight Club? Really Jasper?" My attempt at sounding disapproving was marred by the smile on my face.

"Yeah, come on Bells. This movie is a classic." I snorted.

"It was made in the 90's. By that logic, Matilda is a classic." I said, throwing a small pillow at his head.

He caught it deftly in one hand, throwing it back on the couch as I sat down.

"Whatever. It's the best movie here, and I'm the guest so we're watching it."

Placing the disc in the player, he grabbed the remote and sat down next to me.

"I'm technically a guest too." I reminded him.

"You used to live here. This is your childhood casa." He said.

I giggled. "The operative word being 'used'; As in I don't anymore brainiac."

"Whatever Bells. It's still your home and you know it."

I ignored his last statement and brought my attention to the DVD title menu that was on the screen. Grabbing the remote out of his hand, I pressed play.

At some point I must have fallen asleep because I awoke to the sound of the front door shutting, Jasper's head in my lap,and Charlie calling out, "Bella, erm.. I'm back."

I shot straight up on the couch, panic invading my body as I looked over at Jasper's sleeping form. I poked him in the chest,whisper yelling, "Jasper. Wake up." He just grumbled something unintelligible, still asleep. I poked him a few more times, harder and harder until I'd had it. I stood up and pushed him off the couch. He landed on the floor with a more than audible thud,and a few choice words for me as he rubbed his head. I could hear Charlie's footsteps echoing down the hall as he came to investigate the cause of the noise.

'_Dammit. I really didn't think this through. Way to go Bella.'_ I thought just as Charlie rounded the corner and a very confused Jasper made his way off the floor.

Their eyes met at the same time.

Charlie's mouth was set into a tight grim line. An expression I remembered from my teen years, when I had first approached him with the idea of dating.

I coughed loudly, bringing the attention back to me; I opened my mouth hoping to diffuse the situation before it got out of hand.

"Hey Dad, how was work?" I asked lamely. "This is Jasper. Remember I told you about him? He lives with me in Seattle; you know, my best friend and all?"

His eyes narrowed in suspicion. "I don't remember you telling me about living with a man."

I tried to laugh but it came out in a squeaky high pitched almost nasal cackle. Jasper looked at me, amusement shining in his eyes.

"Uh, I didn't? I'm sure I did. Anyway, this is him."

Charlie crossed his arms over his chest. "Well that's all well and good Isabella, but what is he doing _here_?"

I groaned. "Your pulling the 'Isabella' card?"

"You haven't answered the question, Isabella."

I forgot how easily he could make me feel like a teenager, when I was far from it.

"He came because of the funeral. Moral support and whatnot, you know?" All trace of humor left my voice as I answered.

"He did, did he?"

"Um, Sir. I apologize for showing up, unannounced and from the looks of it unwelcome on your part. I also apologize on behalf of Bella for not telling you about our living situation." I saw Charlie tense at the word 'our' but nevertheless,Jasper continued. " We are honestly nothing but good friends, and that's why I'm here; As a friend, to support Bella. I have no intention of staying in your, might I add, lovely home, I just stopped by to see Bella,and give her the name of the hotel where I am staying."

As Jasper finished I could see Charlie relax, but he still looked warily at Jasper.

Being Police Chief for so long, Charlie was accustomed to not trusting people.

"Well, okay. If that's all that's going on here.." His tone was softer,but still held an edge of suspicion.

"I promise Dad. Nothing has or ever will happen between me and Jasper. He's just a super awesome, very caring friend who worries too much."

I shot a glance at him out of the corner of my eye and he stuck his tongue out at me in reply. I snorted, "Real mature." He countered, "I learned from the best."

"Touché grasshopper."

Charlie coughed, reminding us both that he was still in the room.

"Well I brought back dinner from the diner, so it was nice meeting you Jasper."

I almost rolled my eyes.

'_Real subtle Charlie._" I thought.

"Come on Jas, let me see you out." He nodded, grabbing his bag and following me. He paused to shake Charlie's hand then met me at the door as Charlie headed to the kitchen.

"Sorry about him." I said. "He still thinks I'm 12 with braces. I'll never be old enough to have a male friend."

"Don't worry. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who's lookin 'out for you." He said, slipping me a card with his hotel information on it.

"So, what's the plan for tomorrow?"

I sighed.

Tomorrow I had to meet with the funeral director, the executor of the will, and plan…

Well, I didn't want to think about that now, and didn't need to until tomorrow.

"Deal with the heavy. Deal with reality." I practically whispered.

Jasper pulled me in for a hug.

"Don't worry Bella, everything will be okay."

I nodded. "So I'll see you tomorrow?"

He chuckled. "Of course. How about 10 A.M?"

"Sure. See you tomorrow Jas."

"Bye"

He turned,opening the door and heading out.

And then there were two.

Making my way back into the kitchen, I saw Charlie laid out some plates and was pulling out the contents of the paper bag, placing them on the table.

"So, whatcha get this time?" I teased. "Let me guess..cheeseburger? Steak and a baked potato?"

"Ha ha,very funny; But this time, you're wrong. I got you a nice healthy mushroom burger, and I got a turkey burger."

If I had been eating or drinking anything I would have choked.

"Seriously?" I sputtered.

"Yep. While you were gone, my cholesterol went through the roof. So with some persuading,I changed my diet. And boy, what a change it was,but I have never felt better."

Now I was suspicious. I had tried to get Charlie to change his diet for years, but to no avail. It was definitely more than cholesterol changing Charlie's mind.

"So.. Who is she?" I asked non-conspiratorially.

He looked up from his burger, his eyes a little wider than normal but his expression was unchanged.

"She? I don't know what your talking about."

I snorted, taking a bite of my burger.

"Sure you don't."

"I really don't." He said innocently.

"Okay then.. keep your secrets. We all have them." I said, getting up from the table and grabbing a water from the fridge.

"We all do, do we?" He asked.

"Yup." I stated, as I sat back down, taking a swig of water.

We finished our dinner in silence. I threw away the Diner evidence as Charlie washed our plates. When I was done, I grabbed my water and headed up the stairs.

"Goodnight Dad. Tell Sue I say hey next time you see her, would ya?"

I heard a plate fall as he muttered, "How the hell did she know?"

Snickering I made my way to my room, the smile slowly leaving my face.

I didn't know how long I was going to be able to keep up this cheery façade,when all I wanted to do was break down and cry.

The song from Annie was on repeat in my head as I laid down.

_Tomorrow, Tomorrow I love ya tomorrow. It's only a day away._

What did the hell did she know about tomorrows anyway?


	6. Chapter Five: I Hate Tomorrow's

**Authors Note: Hello All! It's been a while since my last update and I'm sorry. RL has been a bitch so I've been a little on the distracted side, but hopefully that will all change pretty soon. With a little luck, the next chapter will be posted next week. **

**So here's chapter five. I really hope you guys like it. **

**Please REVIEW. I'll give you a million cookies if you do! **

**Thanks again to my beta SUNFLOWER3759. You are the sunshine to my cloudy day! **

**Chapter Five.**

**I Really Hate Tomorrow's.**

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Dressed in the nicest dress pants and blazer I owned, I stood in the kitchen, mulling over the past few days, a cup of coffee in my hands. Things were so complicated now that I was back, and as easy as it was to pretend that nothing had changed, it was all too clear that everything had.

Charlie and Sue.

Jasper coming to Forks, for me.

Sophie NOT being here.

Everything was different, but the same.

People kept living.

People were moving on.

And that bothered me more than anything else.

A knock on the door shocked me out of my stupor; I rushed to answer it.

There Jasper stood, dressed as nicely as I'd seen him before. He had on pressed blue slacks, their creases impeccable, and a crisp white dress shirt hidden beneath a blazer, tucked neatly into his pants. I looked at his feet, and almost laughed aloud.

"You look nice, but Chuck Taylors? Really?" I asked, as he made his way inside.

He just shook his head in response.

"I've got the address to the place the executor wants to meet. I think it's an office building off Pine St." I said, grabbing my keys and purse as I practically pushed him out the door.

"How are we getting there Bella?" He asked as I locked the door.

I pointed to my truck.

"You've got to be kidding me."

"Nope. Why? It's reliable." I said.

I made my way to the truck, stepping up and unlocking the door for Jasper. His expression, dubious and full of suspicion was comical as he finally opened the door and got inside.

"Seatbelts first." I stated. He rolled his eyes but complied.

Starting the engine, he jumped and I laughed.

Putting it in gear and backing out of the driveway, I could have sworn I heard him mutter, "This is a death trap."

. . . . .

The small ride was uneventful. As we approached Pine, I became sullen. I really didn't want to be doing this, but I had to; I simply had no other choice.

I parked, paying the meter and turning to look at the building. It was older, the sign out front read, "Cullen Hale and Associates." I looked down at the paper I had with the address written underneath the name Alice Cullen.

I didn't have time to ponder that information as I looked at my watch; I only had 3 minutes until our "meeting".

Looking over at Jasper, I took a deep breath and we both walked into the building.

The elevator ride was brief, the music lulling me into a state of annoyance, rather than serenity.

Stepping out, I walked over to what I must assume was the reception area.

"Hi, excuse me. I'm here to see Alice Cullen. She's expecting me."

The woman behind the desk didn't look up from the trashy magazine she was reading.

"Okay, please take a seat and I'll tell her that you're here." She said.

My eyes widened, but I said nothing. Making my way over to the small seating area I found a chair and practically fell into it. Rubbing my temples I sighed wearily as I eyed the office. It was decorated in an almost high-fashion way. Soft, pebbled leather chairs lined the waiting room, with intricate, gorgeous paintings above them; decorating the cream walls. Small leather tables sat in the corners, with the latest magazines on them, as well as a vase of Orchids.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a door open. Out walked a small fairy-like person, with short cropped black hair parted above her eyebrow and smoothed to the side. She was dressed in what looked like a designer pencil with a silk cream colored blouse and blazer. On her feet were what looked like peep toe Christian Loubitons. Her posture and appearance screamed elegant authority.

Making her way over to me, I stood fiddling with the hem of my impossibly plain blouse.

"Ms. Swan I presume?" She asked. Her voice was as beautiful as her clothing. Some people just had it all.

"Yes." I replied, inwardly kicking myself when my voice cracked. Way to go Bella.

Her eyes flickered over to Jasper, her eyes widening a fraction of an inch.

"And you are…?" She asked and I swore that she stood a little straighter.

"Jasper Whitlock, ma'am. I came with Bella for moral support." He took her hand, and instead of shaking it, gave the top a little kiss. I rolled my eyes. That damn southern charm.

Clearing my throat, I looked pointedly at Jasper, narrowing my eyes.

"Oh, yes forgive me. I'm Alice Cullen. We spoke on the phone. If you could please follow me into my office, we can get started." Alice said, turning and heading into the room I saw her come out of.

Once we were both inside, she asked Jasper to shut the door, and then we sat down.

"Well, now then. I'm afraid I was a little vague on the phone when speaking to you about the reason that you're here. However, in situations like this it is protocol. If I had accidentally gotten the wrong number or something like that, and divulged too much information, that would be bad to say the least. Hence, my wariness when we spoke. I do apologize." She said, shuffling some papers on her desk pulling a manila folder out of a stack and opening it. She silently read something for a moment then closed the folder, continuing.

"It seems that Mrs. Donovan- " I cut her off. "It was Mrs. Chase. I don't think she had a chance to legally change her name before…" I trailed off, the sadness returning almost tenfold.

Alice smiled her eyes warm, full of understanding and sympathy.

"Yes, right. Well Mrs. Chase seemed to have left the sum of her fortune to you. It's all right here." She paused pulling out a paper and handing it to me. The top read, "The last will and testament of Sophie Donovan." Tears filled my eyes as I looked over at Jasper, his expression mirroring the one on my own face, shock. I tried to read the will, but I just couldn't. Alice handed me a Kleenex, and as I wiped my eyes she read aloud.

"The last Will and Testament of Sophie Donovan

I, Sophie Donovan, being of sound mind and body leave the balance in my Western Union Saving account currently valued at: three million, four hundred fifty-six thousand, ninety-eight dollars to Isabella Swan.

I also leave my current savings and bond accounts, valued at twelve million, three hundred forty -five thousand, three hundred ninety-seven dollars

and my Savings account at Bank Of America, valued at twenty thousand dollars."

She paused, looking up at me. I help up my hand.

"Wait, WHAT!?" I felt like I couldn't breathe. What the hell? When had Sophie even gotten this money? I knew her family was wealthy but… this was something else. The amount alone was enough to make me want to vomit, but the fact that she left nothing to her family, nothing of consequence to anyone but me, shook my core.

Turning to Jasper, I tried to speak. "But – all this – the money – so much!" I stuttered.

"Calm down Bells." He said.

I was hyperventilating now. "Can't. Too much." I wheezed.

"Bella!" He said roughly now, grabbing me by the shoulders. "Calm the hell down!"

I was trying! I wanted to yell that fact at him, but I couldn't. I couldn't get enough air in my lungs. I couldn't get over the fact that Sophie had really done that. I couldn't do a lot of things. At the moment, I couldn't do anything.

My head felt fuzzy, and the room started to blur around the edges.

"_Oh crap I thought."_ Before everything went blank.

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**REVIEW!**


	7. Chapter Six: Influx

**Authors Note: Back once again! I apologize for the delay I had some technical difficulties in posting this, but I think that I've got it all figured out. I'm not 100% happy with this chapter, but I'm not going to split hairs about it so here it is. On a side note, I'm wondering why there aren't many people leaving feedback. Reviews are appreciated and encourage the author to post more chapters, and update more frequently. **

***sigh***

**Anyways without further adeu here is chapter six. I hope you enjoy.**

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**Chapter Six: Influx**

In the months since fainting during my first visit to Alice Cullen, my world had been turned upside down. Alice and Jasper hit it off immediately, practically joined at the hip since the first time they met. I began getting to know her better as well, but found her to be a little intense.

Between inheriting such a daunting amount of money, plus attending Sophie's funeral, as well as Jasper and Alice's budding romance; I was feeling displaced. Life, as I knew it before was now so much different. I used to think if I ever had any money, not like the copious amount I had now, but a reasonable amount, things would be so much easier. I day dreamed of the freedom being wealthy could bring. I never thought having it would create quite the opposite feeling. I felt trapped. I had so much more to worry about now. Who was going to manage it? Would I invest some of it? Who would do my accounting? Should I create a charity, to help those less fortunate? To help people struggling the way I had struggled?

I sighed, looking out the window from my childhood bedroom. I still hadn't moved out of Charlies' house, and that was another source of stress for me. I mean, I couldn't very well go back to Seattle now. Jasper had decided to move to Forks because being away from Alice was not an option for him now. So we both gave our notices, packed up what we needed and never looked back. I had so many conflicting emotions coming back to Forks. It wasn't that I wanted to be here, it was just that I couldn't be anywhere Jasper wasn't. It didn't seem right. Rationally, I knew that was ridiculous. I was an adult for all intents and purposes. I shouldn't need to lean so heavily on him, when his life was moving on, and mine wasn't. But for the past six years, he was my constant. I refused to think that would change. It couldn't, even if he had Alice now.

I made my way downstairs to the kitchen. It was Saturday, and Charlie was at La Push, so I had the house to myself. Sitting down at the table, I pulled my cellphone from my pocket. Scrolling through my contacts I searched for Alice's number, my finger hovering over the send button. I took a deep breath. I could do this, I had to do this. Moving on, it wasn't an option for me anymore, it was a must. I hit send, took a deep breath and waited.

"Don't be a wuss Bella." Sophie's voice rang out in my head. "Sometimes you don't move until you're pushed."

I could do this.

"Hi Bella. " Alice's cheery voice greeted me on the third ring.

"Hey, Alice." My own voice cheerfully replied, sounding fake, even to me. "I was thinking, it's time I put that money to good use. You said you knew of some local houses on the market, are any of those still for sale?"

She squealed happily, and I pulled the phone safely away from my poor ears.

'I could do this.' I thought, but I still wasn't so sure.

. . . . . . . . . .

A short time later, I met Alice at Jasper's new apartment while he was at work so that we could go over some of my housing choices. Apparently, Alice had planned this weeks ago and had plenty of listings to show me.

"There is a really nice place off Bear Creek Road,, it's a three bedroom, two bath with an amazing kitchen. It has a nice sized den for entertaining or whatever you might want to do. It has a balcony off the second story, a nice wrap around porch and great sized yard." She handed me a photo of the house. It was gorgeous. Her description didn't do it justice. The price had me worried though.

"Alice it's beautiful, perfect even. But $300,000 for a home is … pricey."

"You're worried about money, when you're a new millionaire?" She asked, as I flinched. I detested the word millionaire.

"I know I just came into a lot of money." She coughed. "But I don't want to blow it all on frivolous purchases." I said, staring longingly at the paper in my hand.

I could never justify paying so much for a house.

"Look, I know it is a bit pricey, and if I was showing this to you say four months ago, I would have wholeheartedly agreed. But you're financial situation has changed, dramatically and although you don't realize it now, you are probably the biggest patron at Forks Bank right now. You could buy this whole town and turn it into a theme park if you wanted too." She put her hand on mind, squeezing it gently. "Think about it okay? This house has been on the market for a while, and I'm sure the owners wouldn't mind if you put in a lower than asking bid, if you want. And besides, you can't live with Charlie forever can you?" I shuddered.

"Okay, put in a bid or whatever. But don't go much lower than they asked. I wouldn't want to overpay but I don't like the idea of cheating someone out of a reasonable price when I have more than enough." I said slowly, dragging each word out as if it pained me.

She squealed. I put my hands over my poor ears once again, protecting them from the shrill sound this tiny woman was emitting.

"Oh, Bella!" She wrapped her arms around my neck, trapping me in an excited hug. "You will not be sorry, I promise." She said smiling, and I couldn't help but smile back. Her enthusiasm was infectious.

"I don't doubt your realtor skills Alice." I said, and it was true. She was perfect at anything involving buying or selling. It was scary sometimes how things just happened to end up the way she wanted them; like she had superpowers.

"Great! Well I'm going to go send in the bid. I was thinking like 250,000." I frowned at that number.

"Alice, how about 275,000?" I hedged.

She paused, thinking for a moment. "Yes, that will work. They are going to love that offer! I bet this house is yours by the end of the month," She stated, gathering up her pamphlets and papers, putting them in her attaché case.

"I'll let you know how everything goes Bella." Putting her case next to a magazine rack, she slipped off her heels and sat back on the couch.

"Okay, thanks Alice. I'll just be going. Tell Jasper I stopped by, would you?" I wanted to hang around and wait for him, but I felt like I was being dismissed.

"Of course, talk to you later."

Walking to the door, I let myself out with a quick "Bye." and headed to my truck.

I felt off. My life was changing in ways that I had never imagined and so quickly, I didn't have time to adjust. It seemed so unfair, yet I felt incredibly guilty for thinking that. My life wasn't bad at all, and here I was complaining about it being unfair. I sighed. I didn't have time for a pity party. I had to go home and make Charlie dinner. Starting my truck I carefully backed out of the parking space, heading home.

. . . . . . . . .

After an uneventful dinner, I went upstairs to take a shower. The hot water soothed my tired achy muscles, and I relished in the solitude. By the time I was done, it was well past 11 P.M. and I was exhausted. I dressed in my ratty t-shirt and battered sweats barely remembering to close the door before I fell on my bed, on top of the covers and fell into a deep, yet restless sleep.


	8. Chapter Seven: It Grows On You

**A/N: Ahoy Readers, I'm back! Well, I never left but... I thought that was a nifty greeting so whatever. I hope you all are having fun during your last days of summer vacation, and ready for the new school year. Or if you have a career and didn't really get a vacation, I hope that this will brighten your spirits a bit. I had this chapter ready a lot sooner than I anticipated and while it was being edited by my lovely beta I sat idly by over thinking and deconstructing the entire thing. I am pleased to report, however, that I'm pretty happy with this one. **

**Now I can't stress this enough: Reviews are important. Constructive criticism or just a simple, "Hey this doesn't suck." really help an author in so many ways. You can thank the promptness of this chapter to a special reviewer LoveACullen who made me get off my butt and rock this one IMMEDIATELY after I got it. A big thanks is owed to them.**

**And in case no one knew this: I don't own twilight. Shocker.  
**

**Now go read and REVIEW!  
**

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**Chapter Seven: It grows on you.**

* * *

"Sign on this line here." I signed on the line.

"Initial beside this arrow." I initialed next to the arrow. This was becoming a bit redundant.

Plastering a smile on my face, I handed the contract back to the realtor.

"Congratulations Ms. Swan. You've just bought a house." She said placing her hand out for me to shake.

"Thank you so much." I replied while shaking her hand.

Alice, who had been surprisingly silent was standing beside me, practically vibrating with excitement. The second the realtor let herself out her restraint ended.

"Oh my gosh Bella, I have so many ideas! There is so much I could do, if you'll let me of course. This place is just full of hidden potential." She said, walking around the living room area. I could see the wheels turning and I had to cut this off before it grew legs. Alice would, without a doubt, turn my newly acquired property into something out of the pages of the latest Home and Garden magazine, which I was sure she had somewhere in her attaché case.

"Alice, I don't want to really do anything to this place yet." I said. Her expression fell.

"I mean, I appreciate everything that you've done; don't get me wrong. I'm eternally grateful. I would have never found this if it wasn't for you. It's just that, I'm going through a lot right now, a lot of change. I don't want to add more. You understand don't you?" I didn't want to hurt her feelings, just slow down her renovation plans.

A look of understanding showed on her face. "Of course Bella. How careless of me. I forget sometimes how hard things must be for you right now." She walked over to me and placed a hand on my shoulder, which was a feat given her stature. "Take your time."

She looked at her wrist, the gold face of her watch catching on the sunlight that peeked in through the open windows. "Oh my. I have to meet Jasper in 30 minutes. I should get going."

I was suddenly happy and sad at the same time. I did want her to go, but I wished Jasper was here. It was like I never saw him anymore, and when I did,,, he had Alice attached to his hip; his latest fashion accessory.

"Okay. Well, sorry to take so much of your time, I know you are a busy woman. But thanks again for" I paused. "Everything that you've done. You've been a lifesaver."

She smiled widely, showing a set of perfect teeth. She could have modeled toothpaste, or toothbrushes or teeth whiteners, or something like that.

"It was no problem Bella. I live for stuff like this and I'm glad you asked. I really want us to become friends. I mean with me dating Jazzy. " I arched an eyebrow, but kept silent as she continued. " You are a big part of his life, and now that I'm in his life.. well, you know what I mean, I think it's so important"

She made her way to the door calling over her shoulder, "Give me a call in a couple of days Bella. I know you don't want to make any big changes but maybe some furniture wouldn't hurt." She giggled. "Bye!"

And then she was gone.

I sat down on the floor playing with the hem of my shirt, lost in thought. I looked around the empty space suddenly feeling much smaller than my 5'4". As much as I hated to admit it, Alice was right. I did need furniture. I groaned out loud. That meant I had to endure another shopping extravaganza with the lovely Alice Cullen. Kill me now. I don't know how long I sat there but I assumed it was at least an hour. Sighing, I stood up, dusting imaginary dust off my Levi's. I couldn't hide out in my unfurnished home forever, no matter how appealing that thought might have been.

I let myself out, locking up as I made my way to my trusty rusty steed. Clambering inside of the cab, I started 'er up; Smiling as the engine roared to life.

Heading back to the place formerly referred to as home, I was frantic to think of the contingency plan. How the hell was I going to tell Charlie I was moving?

. . . . . . .

I stopped by the diner picking up dinner, hoping to ease the blow to Charlie with some artery clogging eats.

I made it home before him which didn't surprise me. Grabbing plates from the cabinet, I set the table, eying it critically. The second Charlie walked in the door, took off his gun belt and made his way into the kitchen, he would know something was up. I never set the table, ever.

I sighed. Whatever. I couldn't over think anything else today, I was giving myself a migraine.

I grabbed some silverware from the drawer and placed it next to the mismatched plates, glancing at the clock. The bright red numbers screamed at me; five twenty-five P.M.

Charlie wouldn't be home for at least another thirty-five minutes. I left the food on the counter and made my way up the stairs to grab a book.

Twenty minutes later, reading at the kitchen table I saw lights and heard the cruiser pull up.

I rolled my eyes and set my book on the counter. Grabbing the food I began putting it on the plates. I was nuking the meatloaf and potatoes when he walked in.

"Hey Dad, I got dinner from the diner, hope that's okay." I called from the kitchen.

He grunted. _'Way to make me feel awesome.'_ I thought.

He made his way into the kitchen and sniffed. "Smells good." He said. I stared.

It wasn't like I could take credit for any of it so I just replied, "Well thank Sue down at the diner, and the microwave."

In what can only be described as a forced chuckle he sat down in one of the two chairs as I pulled the plate out of the microwave and put it on the table.

"What's all this?" Charlie asked as I sat down.

I stared blankly at the meal in front of me. "Well Dad, this is meatloaf," I gestured. "And this is mashed potatoes." I pointed at the lumpy white mass. " I would have figured you'd be well versed in all that the diner has to offer but - "

"Cut it out Bells." He said, his left eye twitching, a sure sign he was getting annoyed.

"Okay Okay. I'm sorry. I just had, a rough day." I stabbed a piece of meatloaf, putting it on my plate.

"No need to take it out on the meatloaf. What's wrong?" He asked, as he got up and grabbed a beer.

"I'm moving out." I said as a took a bite and he took a swig of his beer. He choked.

"Dammit, are you okay? I'm not trying to kill you." I stood up, my chair rocking on its unbalanced legs, and made my way to him.

"I'm fine." He gasped. "Just caught me off guard there Bells."

"Well I'm sorry. I didn't know you were going to inhale your beer instead of drinking it like a normal person." I tried to joke. It didn't work.

"Come on Dad; Sit down and finish dinner with me. No need to stand over the sink."

I sat back down and Charlie followed suit.

"So.. moving out huh?" He asked. I nodded, unable to speak around the meatloaf I was pulverizing with my teeth.

Swallowing, I answered. "Yeah, I bought a house."

Luckily he wasn't eating or drinking anything when I said that, but he coughed anyway.

"You? You bought a house?!" He asked incredulously.

"Yes. Why is that so hard to believe."

He quickly backtracked. "It's not. I'm just .. surprised. Where is this house?"

"Like 10-15 minutes away." I mumbled, not wanting to voice it out loud. I moved back to the one place I hated, and then bought a house there. Way to stand firm Bella.

"In Forks?" He asked speculatively.

"No." I replied. "On Mars, but I got this great deal on a spaceship from this guy I met through the traveling snake oil salesman." I giggled. "Of course in Forks."

I'd forgotten I hadn't been completely honest about the amount of inherited wealth I'd received from Sophie's estate. I muttered a few choice expletives under my breath. No more avoiding that I suppose.

"Well, that's nice. When do I get to see it?" He asked, finishing up the last of his plate and taking seconds.

"Uh..." I paused; My mind racing frantically though scenarios on how to prolong that. "I don't know Dad, maybe a couple of weeks. I need to get some furniture and get everything all set up you know? It's empty right now so.. Anyway.. maybe on the first?" It was the 15th now. I looked down at my half eaten meatloaf praying that I'd just bought myself some time.

"Oh, well sure kiddo, that sounds fine. No rush you know." He smiled and took another bite of meatloaf. _'Phew, crisis averted.'_ I thought.

I stabbed my meatloaf a few more times before completely giving up on dinner. With all the conversation and near death experiences, I'd lost my appetite.

I slid the contents of my plate onto Charlie's and put it in the sink.

"I'm not really too hungry. I had a big day what with signing the papers for the house and all, too much excitement." I lied and for once I think worked.

"I understand Bells, no problem. I'll never turn down more meatloaf, remember that." I laughed. "Okay, mental note made. Have a nice night Dad, I'm going to go lie down."

"Goodnight kid." I heard his voice call out from the kitchen.

I replied, trudging up the stairs.

Sick as it was, Forks was starting to grow on me. Like a fungus or Gangrene, but grow none the less. The thought alone made me want to call the CDC and get one of those chemical showers.

Then I realized something. "Aww damn! I'm going to have to start packing!" I took my shoe off and threw it at my bed where it promptly bounced off and hit me in the shin.

"Ow." I said rubbing my poor leg, chuckling.

Bella was back.


	9. Chapter Eight: Moving, BBQ's and Who?

**A/N: Hello! So I was reading this Ebook and in the beginning where they have all the disclaimers and contact information was a couple of sentences that I'd like to share with you.  
**

"I would ask my readers to drop me a line and let me know what you think of the story; I can not hope to improve as an author if my readers can't tell me where I succeeded and where I failed! I can happily accept criticism, but I do need feedback. **So please, even if you hated every word, I still do like to be told**;** I'm a big boy, I can take criticism!**"

**I think that captures what I'm trying to convey when I ask you all to drop me a line, replacing boy with girl of course. I love that people are reading this, and enjoying it; But what I'd like more is your honest opinions on the plot, what you would have liked to see/read, or what have you. It can only improve my writing!**

**So anyways, here is chapter eight, obviously. It's longer than the rest of the chapters, and for good reason! I really looooooveeeed writing this chapter, and again you can thank LoveACullen because the flame that was put under my ass last chapter turned into a full blown fire and now I'm burning!**

**A big never ending thanks to my beta SUNFLOWER3759 without whom this story would be just plain crap to be honest.  
**

**Alright, enough chattering from me, here's chapter eight! Read, Review and Enjoy!  
**

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**Chapter Eight: Moving, BBQ's & Who?**

* * *

"Staring at all these boxes won't make them magically move themselves in you know?" Jasper said, nudging me in the side with his elbow.

Sticking my tongue out at him, I flipped him the bird. "I'm aware. Just.. it's so surreal. I never thought I'd be 'this girl'. Moving into her own house located conveniently in my own personal hell." I said inwardly grimacing as I took in my surroundings.

Sure, the house was gorgeous; And the neighborhood was spectacular. I mean, it didn't get much better than this in Forks. But that was the problem: Forks. It was finally sinking in that I had a actually bought a home in this tiny town; The bane of my exsistance since I was eleven.

"You bought it Bells. Why are you complaining now?"

"I'm not.. I mean... Hell, I don't know okay? It's too real now."

Jasper opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off. "Let's just move these boxes inside before it decides to rain and all my worldly possessions turn into soggy sidewalk souvenirs."

"It won't rain today Bella, I'm sure of it." Chimed a voice so elegant it could only belong to one person. Alice Cullen.

Plastering a smile on my face, I turned to greet her. "Hey.. Alice. Thanks for coming."

She smiled back at me. Her's was so genuine, a stark contrast to my fake one. "No problem. But I don't understand why you don't just hire a moving company." She said while examining her flawlessly manicured nails. I sighed.

"Just because you have the money to do something doesn't mean you should." I explained. It was like talking to a child. I rolled my eyes and grabbed a box.

"If I could pay someone to wipe my ass should I do it?" I muttered while walking inside.

I didn't notice Jasper beside me until he spoke up. "Sorry, did you say something Bella?" He asked, setting his box down and taking the one from my arms.

My eyes widened. "No. I just... I know you like her, I do. And I'm trying, so don't act like I'm not. But she's just so... not your type."

Jasper arched an eyebrow at me. "My type? And what pray tell is my type?" He asked, barely able to mask the bitterness of his tone.

"You really want me to answer that?" I asked. He nodded. "Fine I'll bite. But remember: You don't get mad when the dog bites you after you pull its tail."

"Are you the dog in this equation?" He asked. Hitting him roughly on the shoulder I replied, "No. Shit. Don't be an ass. I just.. I mean she is really nice, but she is also shallow, and vain. I thought you went for more down to earth girls that's all. Ones who wore Chucks instead of Manolo's. Girls who wore fitted jeans not fitted evening gowns."

"What? She's too good for me? Too polished in comparison to my rough exterior?" He asked, his voice scathing. What the hell had just happened here?

"Don't put words in my mouth Jas, I didn't say that at all. I just said she didn't seem like your type. Different. New. That's Alice. And I said I like her. So dammit, quit trying to turn me into the bad guy. I was honest. You did ask me to be honest didn't you?" I huffed angrily. I wanted to stomp my foot on the floor like a child but I refrained. This wasn't the time nor the place to act out. Only one of us could be immature at a time, and Jasper had dibs.

He sighed. "I'm sorry. It's just.. she's amazing. I've never met anyone like her before and honestly, I'm a little stunned that she chose me when she could have her pick. I mean, I'm just a southern boy with a little charm and she's..."

I cut him off. "Stop Jas. Your amazing. She is the lucky one. And she's crazy about you. I may not know her that well but a blind man could see how she looks at you. She's falling in love with you." I said, sighing almost inaudibly. I was happy for him, really I was but I could tell that the closeness we once shared as dwindling. He had a girlfriend now, he couldn't be Bella's Jasper anymore. He was Alice's Jasper.

Sensing my thoughts, he put a comforting arm around my shoulder. "Don't worry Bella, I'll always be here for you. You can always count on me."

I smiled. "Better be. Or I'll pay someone to castrate you in your sleep."

"I need those." Alice chimed in from the hallway, her arms box-less. Behind her was the biggest man I'd ever seen in my life. He was of course gorgeous as I suspected all of Alice's friends were, and extremely fit. Eying him, I wondered how someone that big could even fit into Alice's luxury compact car.

He put the box down near the others and smiled broadly. He looked like a really happy child who happened to be nearly 7 feet tall.

"This is Emmett Cullen, my brother." She gestured to the man beside her. "And this is Bella Swan." She told him, pointing to me. "You've already met Jas."

"Your brother?" I croaked, trying to hide my laughter. Tiny Alice had a giant brother? This was ridiculous.

"Yes I know. He is insanely tall and I'm quite the opposite. He took up all the space in the womb that's what I say." She said, as Emmett put his arm on Alice's head, using her as an armrest.

"Your twins?" I asked chucking, as Alice tried to swat his arm away.

"Yeah. Crazy right?" Emmett replied moving his arm away. Alice immediately began fixing her hair, carefully arting it back into perfected chaos once again.

"Yeah, no shit." I said. My eyes widened and I slapped my hand over my mouth.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to..." Emmett cut me off with loud guffaw. "Don't worry about it. My wife Rose will love that mouth of yours." My eyes widened as a blush threatened to take over my entire face.

"What?!" Realizing what I thought he meant he laughed harder. "I didn't mean it like that Bella. Geesh. And I thought I had a dirty mind."

Turning around he headed back outside to grab more boxes and I quickly followed.

"Sorry, I just... Well.. Did Alice bring you so she didn't have to help?" I asked, as he grabbed a large box with the word "books" scrawled on it. Gosh, he was strong. I followed suit grabbing a smaller one filled with bed linens. "Yep that's Alice. If you can do it, find a way not too. Unless it's shopping." He said, walking back to the house.

Even with my lighter box I was struggling to keep up. "Yeah that sounds like her." I wheezed.

I sat my box down and tried to catch my breath. All the gloomy weather and depressing days I spent here were really taking their toll on me. I was out of shape.

Jasper laughed seeing me leaning against the door jam, slightly gasping for air.

"Out of shape there Bells?" He asked, as he wrapped an arm around Alice, bringing her close.

"Shut up Jasper." I narrowed my eyes in mock anger.

Rolling my eyes, I headed back outside. As repetitive as signing the contracts were for this house, moving in was more so. And it required lifting. I was beginning to think I should have taken Alice's suggestion and just hired someone. This was becoming way to exhausting.

As I made my way back to the stack of boxes we'd assembled, I noticed more than half of them were gone. For a split second I thought someone had stolen my stuff, but then Emmett emerged from the house and I realized he was moving them in at an almost inhuman speed.

"Wow, you got a lot done in such a short time. Ever think of starting a moving company?" I joked, getting a short booming laugh out of Emmett.

"Nah, the wife would kill me. We run a mechanic shop across town, Cullen Auto." He said, wiping the sweat from his brow.

"Wow that's your shop?" I asked. "Impressive."

"Nah it's not my shop it's Rose's, but she lets me tinker there from time to time." He said, a grin on his face.

"She's the mechanic?" I asked dubiously.

He nodded. "Yup. She started that place from the ground up when we first got married. And now it's doing great. All 'cuz of her." He said proudly.

"Wow. Good for her." I said.

Grabbing another box I headed for the house.

"Bella." Emmett called after me. I turned around to face him. "Yes?"

"We're having a BBQ this Saturday, and well, I was wondering if maybe you might like to come. It'll be small, just family and friends. I think Jasper is coming, so.."

I smiled. "You help me move boxes all day and I get to eat free food this weekend? Count me in."

"Great. So I'll have Alice tell you where, and don't let her go crazy about what you're going to wear either. She likes to play human, life-size Barbie whenever possible."

I believed him. "Okay. Well thanks for that warning."

Heading back into the house, I realized I was still smiling.

This day wasn't a total bust after all.

. . . . . .

It was well after nine when I sent Emmett and Alice home, thanking them both profusely. Even though Alice didn't do much in way of helping, she kept me company while Emmett and Jasper talked. That in itself was deserving of a thank you. Luckily I had Emmett set up my bed before he left, or I would have just left the mattress on the floor and slept there.

I was still downstairs picking up plastic Dixie cups and trying to track down stray packing peanuts. I grabbed an empty pizza box and stuffed it into an already too full Hefty bag. I tied the ties and dropped it on the floor, dusting my hands off. I looked around the living room, and the small mountain of boxes that sat in the center.

I really did need furniture. I'd have to talk to Alice about that on Saturday. I couldn't be bothered to do anything more tonight, I was exhausted. Wearily making my way upstairs, I shuffled out of my shoes and flopped onto my unmade bed.

Ew. I'd forgotten that I didn't put any sheets on it. Wiggling, I made a cocoon with my comforter, so I wasn't actually touching the bare mattress and slowly drifted to sleep.

Waking up in my own house the next morning was weird. I was confused and disoriented for the first few moments. But, by the time Saturday morning came, I was beginning to get used to being alone. In fact, I liked it. If I wanted to, I could run around buck naked, not that I did. I just enjoyed the freedom of knowing I could, if I ever had the desire.

I made my way downstairs intending to make some coffee, but tripped over a box almost falling face first onto the hardwood floors. I recovered quickly,, somewhat annoyed, but soon realized that their was no one around to witness my catastrophe. I was alone, like I would be from now on. The thought almost made me a little sad before I mentally smacked myself for trying to kill my happiness at the new found freedom I now possessed.

After burning my tongue by sipping the coffee before it cooled, I sat down on a folding camping chair at the makeshift table I'd made out of an ironing board. Grabbing my cellphone I checked the time. Oh my God, it was eleven fifteen, I groaned. I'd slept in and I hadn't intended to. Since my return to Forks simple things like maintaining a schedule and doing my laundry had fallen to the wayside. My eyes widened when I remembered that I didn't have any clean clothes. I'd meant to do the wash sometime this week but I'd completely forgotten. Thank God I still had clean underwear, but I was pretty sure that wasn't proper BBQ attire.

'Oh she's going to love this.' I thought, as I scrolled through my contacts stopping at Alice's name. I took a deep breath and hit send.

"Hey Alice it's Bella. I'm having a clothing crisis." I held the phone away from my ear as she screamed gleefully.

. . . . . .

Twenty minutes later Alice barged into my house arms full of garment bags. She dragged me upstairs, with strength I never though someone her size could possess, and began opening the bags.

"This is so great. I've had all these dresses sitting in my closet forever. I'd meant to get them tailored because they're a little big on me, but they'll fit you, and be perfect!" She exclaimed, pulling out a blue paisley print dress with a cinched waist. She handed it to me, pushing me towards the bathroom.

"Try it on!" She yelled through the door.

"Obviously. What else would I do with it?" I mumbled, pulling the dress on.

Walking out she tssked at me, before making me take a spin.

"No, no.. I don't think that's going to work." She said, going through the other bags.

"Alice, this is fine. I just need something to wear to your brother's BBQ, I'm not going on the runway." I said, trying to zip it up.

"Bella, every time someone see's you it's a runway. Trust me." She chided. "Besides my brother's going to be there and he would love you." I made a face. Emmett was married. Was she trying to set me up to be the filling in a infidelity sandwich? The thought alone was absurd.

"Alice, your brother is married." I stated as if that wasn't already obvious.

She laughed. I arched my eyebrow. "No, not Emmett. My brother Edward. He's single and I'm tired of him bringing home girls that are obviously not right for him. You'd think he was blind or something. You are just what he needs."

"So you're trying to set me up with your single brother who I know nothing about?" I asked, as she shoved another dress at me. Closing the door I carefully slipped out of the dress and placed it back on the hanger.

"His name is Edward. He's 23. He's pre-med. He thinks he's God's gift to women and they seem to agree. He's very...sure of himself. He's tall. He has green eyes." She said through the door as I slipped into the second dress. It was a yellow sundress with spaghetti straps that hit mid-thigh. I liked it more than the first one, but I wouldn't tell Alice that. She couldn't ever know that I was kind of enjoying this.

Stepping out I asked, "So, you think he would like me?"

Alice cheered. "Oh Bella. That dress is perfect. Absolutely perfect. Turn around so I can zip it."

I complied, moving my hair to the side so it didn't get caught.

"Alice, you never answered my question. Do you think he'll like me?" I hedged.

"Yes!" She exclaimed. I chuckled.

"Okay, well.. I'll say hi and see how it goes. I am NOT making any promises, okay?" I looked down into her blue eyes.

"Okay. Deal." She said. And we shook on it.

By the time she collected the dresses and I found shoes suitable enough for Alice to let me wear with the dress it was almost 1:00 o'clock. We headed out together, deciding to take her car instead of my busted up truck. I spent most of the ride tuning Alice out while she tried to convince me to buy a new car. Apparently, her Lexus was the best car in it's class and I should definitely get one.

We finally made it to Emmett's. His house was gorgeous. A beautiful two story house, with columns out front, a white picket fence, the whole deal. It looked like something out of a magazine. The Cullen's really didn't do anything half ass, I'd give them that.

We made our way to the backyard to see the festivities in full swing. There had to have been at least thirty people there already, and I assumed more were coming. Alice and I made the rounds as she introduced me to various people, whose names I promptly forgot as soon as we moved to a new group. Jasper arrived sometime in between, passing the stiff couple in blazers, as well as Alice's blonde trio of cousins who looked like they all could have been on the cover of Teen Vogue.

One thing I knew for sure, all of the Cullen's were gorgeous. I suddenly felt plain, down right ordinary, even and completely out of place. A tug on my arm shook me out of my thoughts as Alice dragged me to another group of people.

"I'm about to introduce you to Edward now. Please smile Bella, you look like I killed your puppy." She whispered as we walked across the lawn. Standing straighter, I plastered a somewhat authentic smile on my face and followed Alice.

'It's like the blind leading the blind.' I thought as we reached a small group.

Alice tapped a tall man with tousled bronze hair on the shoulder, whose arm was around a gorgeous blonde woman.

'Please don't let this be Edward.' I thought. 'Introducing me to her brother while he has a date! God, this couldn't get more embarrassing.'

He turned around and I was confronted by the most brilliant, shining green eyes, I'd ever encountered. A pair of eyes that I knew all too well.

"Edward Masen? What the hell are YOU doing here?" I asked, as his eyes widened.

For the first time since I met her...Alice Cullen was speechless.


	10. Chapter Nine: Teary Confessions

**A/N: Whoo! The response for the last chapter was awesome! I'm glad everyone is enjoying reading this story as much as I am writing it. All of your reviews made me smile; and a big thank you to everyone who added this to your favorites, alerts, ect; it means a lot to me.  
**

**Big big thanks to my beta SunflowerFran3759.  
**

**Enough chattering from me, here's chappy nine; Read & Review!  
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**Chapter Nine: **

**Spiked punch, Whiskey and Teary confessions.**

**[Song for chapter] 3D friends Lina Magic**

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"Who?" Alice asked, looking between Edward and I.

I shook my head, my eyes filled with anger as I took in his shocked expression.

"No one; Just someone I thought I knew." I said bitterly, fighting the urge to slap him.

Thick awkward silence filled the air as Alice stood there, probably fighting the urge to ask us what was really going on.

"Oh look, there's Emmett and Rose, I should go say..." She trailed off.

"Well, bye!" She made her way over to them, looking back once with curiosity shining in her eyes.

"Bella?" Edward asked.

"It's Isabella to you ." I said, narrowing my eyes.

"Wow, I can't believe it's you." He said.

I snorted. "I could say the same damn thing."

"Look, I know your mad at me.." I cut him off. "What? Mad? No. Why would I be? It's not like we dated for six months and then you disappeared one day in the middle of the night and I never heard anything from you again. Oh WAIT, that's exactly how it is."

"Bella, if you could just give me a chance to explain..." He started, but I cut him off again.

"It's Isabella, and you don't owe me anything. Don't waste your breath." I turned to leave but he caught my arm.

"Please." He pleaded.

"Let me go." I said, looking at his hand on my arm.

"Eddy, who is that?" A voice asked from behind him. He quickly let go of my arm.

"Oh this is Alice's friend, Isabella." He said, stressing my name.

A manicured hand met his as I came face to face with a woman so plastic she put barbie to shame.

"Hi,I'm Tanya, Edward's girlfriend. It's so nice to meet you." She said, extending a hand out to me. I didn't want to touch her, but I politely took her hand shaking it.

"Pleasure. Oh look, there's Alice. I should go say hello to her, I haven't seen her in ages." I said, taking the opportunity to escape.

"You came with her." Edward said, as I took as step backwards.

"You must be mistaken, I didn't. Anyway, it was nice meeting you Tayna, Edward." I turned on my heel, walking faster than necessary to Alice.

When I reached Alice her face was full of unanswered questions that I didn't want to answer; not here, not now.

"Look, I'll answer your questions later okay? Let's just get through this evening in one piece." I said, making my way over to Emmett who was manning the drink table.

"So what are you guys serving?" I asked, trying to make my tone light.

"Not much. Punch, beer or lemonade. Pick your poison." He said, gesturing to the small cups littering the table.

"Choices, choices. Um, I'll have some punch." I said, reaching for a cup containing a reddish liquid.

Emmett winked at me. "Good choice."

I sniffed my cup, eyes widening. "Woah, someone's spiked the punch. Is this secretly prom night?" I joked, taking a sip. It was strong, burning as it slid down my throat.

He laughed throatily. "Nope, just Saturday. The food is almost ready though, so you might want to find a good seat at the table before you're stuck sitting next to someone you'd rather not be next to." He said. My eyes narrowed.

"Wow, does news travel fast here or what?" I asked taking another sip.

"A little. But it also helps that Alice came over to Rose and she was chattering a mile a minute about you and poor old Edward over there. Wanna tell me what happened?" He asked. I knew he was trying to be nice, but the last thing I wanted to do was talk about... that.

"Thanks, but no thanks. I'll tell you ALL later." I smiled, my face feeling all kinds of stiff. "I'll just go snag a seat at the table."

Downing the rest of my drink in one gulp, I sighed.

It was going to be a long awkward afternoon.

. . . . . . . . . .

It was around 6 o,clock when Alice and I made it to my house. The ride back was uncomfortably silent, considering I was in a car with Alice Cullen, the human chatterbox.

Unlocking the door, I let us both inside and kicked off my shoes.

I walked soundlessly to the kitchen, opening the bottom cupboard grabbing a half empty bottle of whiskey. I opened a cabinet and grabbed two glasses before heading to the table and taking a seat; Alice followed suit.

Pouring some firewater into both of our glasses, I took a sip and sighed.

"So, I'm guessing you want to know how I know your brother?" I asked.

Alice downed her glass in one gulp, wiping her mouth in an unladylike fashion before answering.

"Yes and no. I mean, I think I know a little more than you think I do."

I furrowed my brows. "You do?" I took another sip.

"Your the girl he met at U Dub aren't you?"

I finished my glass, my throat burning in unison with my eyes before I answered. "Yes."

She sighed, reaching down and taking off her shoes, curling her feet under herself.

"I thought so. I didn't know before today though, but when you two saw each other I knew. What happened Bella? I only know bits and pieces. Edward wasn't too forthcoming with information about what happened that year. I just know something happened, and whatever it is you can tell me. I won't take sides, I promise."

A small tear escaped, falling down my cheek, leaving a trail of bittersweet memories in it's wake.

Pouring more whiskey in our glasses, I started. "It was three years ago, the summer after graduation and I was a freshman at U Dub. I was lost my first day. I spent the better half of that day wandering around looking for my dorm room. When I finally found it, Edward was a couple doors down helping some girl move her stuff in. He looked so.. smart." I laughed bitterly, taking another swig before continuing.

"So smart, and so sure of himself. He came over and introduced himself to me. I can remember it like it was yesterday. 'Hi, I'm Edward Masen and you are?' I was completely smitten by the time he finished that sentence. We hung out for a couple of weeks after that, just as friends. But it all changed when he helped me out at the Halloween frat party. Some jerk named James was getting a little too grabby and he sorted it out, to say the least." A few more tears fell.

"After that night... we we're inseparable; Edward and I. We started dating, and I thought that my life couldn't get any better. A couple months after that, one day suddenly, I woke up and he was gone." A sob escaped my throat, sounding foreign and raw.

"He was my everything. I gave him everything. My heart, my soul, my virginity, and one day I wake up and he was just, gone! No note, no explanation, no nothing. I looked around for him, but no one had seen him. It was like he never existed, like we never happened." I took a shaky breath.

"I was a mess to say the least. I stopped eating, stopped going to classes; I stopped living. I had to drop out a month later." I finished, downing my drink and wiping my face clean of any traitor tears.

Alice, who had been uncharacteristically silent, reached across the table, taking my hand in hers.

"I - wow, I didn't... I can't believe he would do that to you." She said softly.

I laughed bitterly, pouring myself another drink. "Yeah, neither can I. So you can imagine my surprise at seeing him today. I don't know where I thought he was, but I didn't think it would be right under my nose; related to the girlfriend of my best friend no less. Ironic." I said dejectedly.

I tried to read the clock, the numbers too blurry to make out. Whether that was from the alcohol induced therapy session I'd just had, or tiredness I was feeling, I couldn't be sure. It was probably both.

"Alice, what time is it?" I asked, my voice small.

Looking at her watch she replied, "It's 8 o, clock."

"Oh." I murmured. "I'm tired."

A small smile on her face, she patted my hand. "I'm not surprised. Why don't you go to bed, and I'll come by tomorrow.. if you want."

I tried to return her smile, but I'm sure it came out looking like a grimace. "I'd like that."

I walked her to the door on unsteady feet, thankful I didn't have furniture to trip over.

"See you tomorrow." She said, giving me a hug which I returned wholeheartedly.

Closing the door, making sure to lock the deadbolt, I made my way upstairs without incident. I slipped out of the dress, careful to put it back on the hanger, changing into an over-sized t-shirt, and slipped into bed.

I curled into myself, like I was going to crack in two and cried myself to sleep.

. . . . . . . . .

The next few days were somewhat a blur. It was like I was stuck, feeling what I'd already felt. Some days I couldn't get out of bed, I was surrounded by an emotional bubble of sadness and anger. But someone was always there, knocking at my door, looking out for me. If it wasn't Alice it was Jasper, and once it was Rose and Emmett; I suppose Alice had filled them in on the details. It was nice to be thought of, but all the caring was beginning to make me feel smothered.

By day five, I was done sulking. I couldn't take it anymore, and honestly neither could my skin. My face was a puffy red mess, eyes swollen, hair oily and in completely disarray. I took a shower, dressed in something besides sweatpants, and sat down at the kitchen table, Pop-tart in hand. I'd only taken a few bites when there was a knock at the door.

I rolled my eyes before getting up and heading for the door.

"You know, I really appreciate it you guys, but I'm okay now. I'm out of bed, dressed and everything. You don't need to keep checking on me-" I opened the door, stunned.

There before me stood Edward Cullen, in all his screwed up glory.


	11. Chapter Ten: Prince Charmings or ?

**Authors Note: Wow, the response for chapter nine was overwhelming! I'm glad so many of you took the time to review and I loved hearing your thoughts. Due to my internet's wacky connection I was unable to reply to each one of you individually, but please know that everyone one of your reviews we're awesome and totally made my day! Also, a big thanks to everyone who's following this story, added it to their favorites, or put me on alert, I'm eternally grateful. I love hearing your thoughts on what has happened so far, any ideas you want to push through might be taken up as well, so don't be shy!**

**As a random side note, I do recommend reading this story in 3/4 width.  
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**Now, I do want to preface this chapter with a bit of a warning. Some of you mentioned in your reviews how Edward better have a good reason for leaving Bella, and I think one of you mentioned that you'd punch him (That made me laugh), but to be honest, I don't think this is the reason that you were all looking for. Please don't hate me, lol. This is all very important to plot development and whatnot, trust me.  
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**Alright, I've babbled enough. A big thanks to my beta SunflowerFran3759 who really does make this so much better!  
**

**Now go on, read & review!  
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**Chapter Ten.**

**Prince Charming or A nightmare in disguise?**

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"What are you doing here?" I asked. How dare he! Just stand there looking gorgeous at MY doorstep.

Wait a second. . . "How do you know where I live?" I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. This reeked of Alice.

"Um.." He shifted his weight and scratched the back of his neck, looking awkwardly uncomfortable. Good. He deserved that.

"Did Alice give you my address?"

"No. I swear. Alice wouldn't even answer the phone when I called, I talked to Jasper." He said.

"And he gave you my address?" I hedged.

"No. Not exactly. He told me that you were his best friend and that he couldn't betray your trust. But he said that Emmett knew where you lived..." He trailed off.

"So it was Emmett?" I asked.

He nodded.

"Well then, isn't that great?" I spat out, my voice sarcastic. "Nice to know my wishes mean nothing when the great Edward Masen, oh excuse me Edward Cullen wants something."

He looked down again, the expression on his face unreadable as I continued.

"Speaking of, who is Edward Masen? I mean, I thought he was just a nice boy I fell in love with back at U Dub, but I can see now that's not the case. Why did you change your name? Why did you leave? You come to my house uninvited and stand on my porch like I'm supposed to welcome you in with open arms. Well, that's not going to happen. Why are you here? Why did you lie? Who are you?" I was rambling now, but I didn't care. I deserved answers, and dammit I was going to get them.

"Look, can I come inside? I'll answer any and every question that you have but I'd prefer not to have this discussion on your porch." He was right, this really wasn't the place, and even though I didn't want him in my house, I had no choice. I needed answers.

I replied sardonically, mumbling a quick "Yes, come in." before begrudgingly inviting him in.

He walked inside, his shoes echoing on the wood floor. I could see the cogs in his head turning as he took in my bare living room.

"I see you have no furniture." He said as he looked around.

"What? Of course I do. Can't you see it? The beautiful couch next to my antique end tables, my lovely coffee table adorned with various magazines, to showcase my interests, and oh, do be careful, you might knock over my over-sized lamp." I turned away from him and headed for the kitchen, the only room I'd made sure to actual furnish. I took my seat at the table, taking another bite of my Pop-tart as I called to him.

"I don't have all day." I was being rude, but I didn't care. He deserved it.

He took his seat at the only other available chair and turned it until he was facing me. I looked down at my toaster pastry, avoiding his gaze.

"Bella, look at me." His voice was calm and low, rough and imploring. I couldn't resist and I hated him for that. I looked up.

"I-I'm sorry for what I did... back then. I have many regrets from my time at U Dub, and what I did to you is the highest on that list. There are so many things I would have un-done, wish that I could change, but I know that I can't. All I can do is try and explain why I treated you that way when you meant everything to me. I know you don't believe me, and I don't blame you for that; but please just listen that's all I ask." He sighed, scooting his chair closer to mine until our knees were almost touching.

It was too close. I wanted to tell him to back off but I didn't. Instead, I croaked out a simple, "Why?"

He rubbed his face with his hands, looking away for a moment allowing me to regain some semblance of composure.

"There are many reasons, all of which will no doubt make you hate me more. So before I begin I ask just one thing, please don't interrupt. This is hard for me, which I know you doubt, but it is. I avoided this six years ago for the same reason, so please just let me finish." He asked. I nodded. I didn't want to give him anything, but if I wanted my answers I supposed I'd have to compromise. I almost snorted aloud at the stupidity of that statement but refrained.

He took a deep breath, and I felt myself getting lost in the steady gaze of his green eyes, just as I had so many years before, and began.

"When I met you I was a young simple boy with foolish notions about love, morality and life. I was self-serving and gleefully selfish. I knew that I had what others wished for. A nice face, a good family name and more money than I knew what to do with. I relished in those facts, as if they were my saving grace." He paused briefly, pinching the bridge of his nose before continuing.

"I left for U Dub after snubbing my nose at all the Ivy League colleges that accepted me. I declined acception for many reasons but mostly because I thought I was better. Yes, I know, how decidedly foolish of me to think I was better than any hallowed institution? I was eighteen, too young and too full of myself to think otherwise, of course." He laughed, but not one of humor, a dark, almost sinister laugh that made me shake. This was turning out to be exactly the opposite of what I expected.

"I left with Tanya on the back burner. With no expectations about returning or whether we would continue dating; but she had other plans, she always did. And the day I met you, I had decided I was going to have a year of fun, a year of no rules, restrictions or attachments. And that of course meant that I had to give up being a Cullen. Being a Cullen comes with more rules and attachments than I'd like to count, more than you can imagine; so I took my mother's maiden name, Masen." He sighed.

"When we met, I remember thinking how beautifully simple you were, the complete opposite of Tanya. The more we talked the more I knew I could have you. You were the ultimate conquest, the ultimate test of my superiority. At the time I thought of you as nothing more than a challenge, one I was sure I was going to win. I pursued you as a predator stalks their prey. I didn't imagine that I'd fall in love with you."

At this point tears were freely streaming down my face; I wasn't sure I wanted to hear anymore, I wasn't sure I could handle it; none the less he continued.

"I fooled myself of course. I thought I had everything under control, I thought that I was challenging you; your notions on life, love and everything in between. But it was you who was challenging me; you started to creep under my skin, like no other before you, and if I am to be honest, no one since. You made me think, made me want to be something I wasn't; you frightened me." He stood up, the movement so quick that the chair fell to the floor. The clatter echoed loudly, startling me as I looked at the formerly composed and regal Edward Cullen pacing wildly in my kitchen.

"You were supposed to be easy, a notch on my bed post if you will. It was all planned, and you foiled it. You foiled a plan you knew nothing about with no effort at all. You made me love you. You made me want to be a better man. You made me feel all the things I detested in others, things I thought held them back, made them less. You made me care about all those things!" He was shouting now, his voice gruff with emotion.

"I didn't want to be that way. I was fighting it with everything I had, but then I would look in your eyes and - fuck! You made me question everything! Who I was, what I was doing, what I was becoming! I began to love you and hate you at the same time. You turned my world upside down the night you told me you loved me, and I said it back. It was an unplanned declaration of an emotion I'd once sworn I'd never let captivate me."

I took in a shaky breath. Was that why he left?

"That's when I decided to leave." He answered my unspoken question with bitterness.

"I couldn't let it go on any longer. I was cracking in two, becoming someone I didn't want to be and I couldn't remember why I didn't want to become him! The night I left I decided that it was for the best, that I'd completed my task, and there wasn't anything holding me back, holding me there anymore. I didn't want to be held anywhere. It was all so Machiavellian; I started to feel like I was two people, both I'd grown to loathe with such conviction and I didn't know what to do." He stopped pacing, turning towards me, his eyes burning with something I couldn't quite place.

"So I packed up everything and left. I had my father make the necessary arrangements for me to drop out of U Dub, and a year after that I went to Harvard. I slowly began to feel more like myself, whoever that was. But the damage, as I called it, that you had started, was already done. I became more compassionate, more understanding of other people, of those I'd once considered less than me. I rekindled my relationship with Tanya two years later, after I thought I had you out of my head. I fooled myself, like I always do." He picked up the chair that had fallen and took his seat once more.

"When I saw you that day at the BBQ, my whole world was turned upside down once more. I thought I had forgotten you, forgotten us, but I hadn't. The memory of you was as fresh in my mind as the day we met. The look in your eyes when you saw me- I don't think I've ever seen so much hate, and it was well deserved, I admit that. I called Alice that night to ask her how she knew you but she hung up on me after telling me what an ass I was. I begged my family to give me your address and Emmett relented. I offer you no excuses as to why I treated you that way, only the truth. I am truly sorry Bella, you didn't deserve any of that. You deserve so much more than what I gave you back then, and I didn't want to see that. I treated you as something much less than human, and no apology can ever take that back. But I do hope that in time, you can come to see I am no longer the guy who thought of you as a conquest, but a man who can truly see the errors of his ways. And a man who wants nothing more than to see you happy." He finished with a large sigh, his shoulders slumped in defeat as I sat silent.

"So, you used me? I was a pawn in a game of chess to you: but instead of wanting to take my queen, you wanted my virginity?" He didn't speak, but nodded his head in silent confirmation.

"I see." My head was spinning. This wasn't at all what I was expecting. To be honest, I don't know what I thought I would hear, but that definitely wasn't it.

"Um... I really don't know what to say." I was honestly speechless. I'd been waiting years to know why he left, but I didn't think in a million years that the reason would be because I was a game that he wanted to win.

"I understand."

"I think you should go now." I said, my Pop-tart forgotten as I stood to throw it into the garbage.

"I understand that as well." He said, standing. He reached into his left pocket, pulling out a piece of paper and placing it on the table.

"That's my phone number. I don't have any right to expect a call, but if you do ever... well, just if you want to use it you have it."

And then he was gone and I was left in my kitchen, silent and contemplative.

Who knew that my former prince charming was a nightmare in disguise?

I shook my head at my foolery.

He check-mated me indeed.

The eighteen year old girl inside me cried as I retreated back upstairs to find my phone.

The Cullen's, excluding Edward, had some explaining to do.


	12. Chapter Eleven: Into The Lions Den

**Authors Note: Ahhh! I know. It's been almost ten days, and I'm just updating now. Bad bad Marilyn. *slaps hand in reproach* I'd like to say there was a good reason, but in all honesty, there kind of wasn't. I had the harrrdesttt time writing this chapter. I couldn't figure out what I needed/wanted to have happen next, how I was going to make it all mesh well properly, so I took a little more time on it than usual.  
**

**Now, with that being said, I'd like to thank the following:  
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**lkm1d4, hollpattm, dpva94, The Queen Writer, Sashimi346, Isabella Nikole, tabby09, novel crazy, elm065a & nini29, for adding this story to your favorites. I really appreciate it. Also, a big thanks to everyone who's added this to their Story Alerts and have put me on Author Alert. Words can not express how much this means to me.  
**

**Now I know I haven't done a thank you like this before, but I plan on doing it more often if not permanently, because without you guys no one would be reading this, and I wouldn't have those lovely fuzzy feelings I get when I see how much you all like this story.  
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**I write for myself, but knowing that you are all reading this, waiting for updates and taking the time to leave a review, really makes me happy.  
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**ONE MORE THING.  
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**I was surfing FF last week, I believe, and I came across a story I truly love love loved. It was awesome, wonderfully written and I was hooked from the jump. About 15 chapters into I saw an A/N that mentioned a FF writer who was recently deceased, and she sent out her thoughts and prayer to said individual. That peaked my curiosity, so I went over to that authors page and decided to take a peek. I was shocked. This person was such a lovely writer. Her stories were a little dark, obviously well thought and in a style that I envied. So I'm reading, and I click the next chapter button and there is a eulogy, instead of the chapter I'm expecting. That struck me as odd, so I googled her pen-name, and come to find out, this "author" faked her death on FF to get out of completing her stories.  
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**That is disgusting. The author whom I'm referring to is Daddy's Little Cannibal. This is so sick, I don't even have a good word of the top of my head to describe the careless, thoughtless and humanless actions that this girl took just to get out of finishing a couple of stories. She claimed she couldn't stand the horrible messages that she was receiving and that the pressure was too much. It's FF. Now I'm not saying that FF is in anyway meaningless but it's certainly not worth pretending to have died in a horrible car accident (the lie floating around her is that she was hit head on by a drunk driver) just because you don't have the balls to finish the stories you finished. There are more mature ways to express your frustration with FF and your desire to not finish your stories for what ever reason that to fabricate a story about your death.  
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**She probably thought that being honest and saying she didn't want to finish them would make people angry, so she took the cowards way out.  
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**This bothered me so much that I ranted to my dad for about an hour, at 2 o,clock in the morning because I just couldn't stand it! Who the eff does things like that?! And then, updates their Facebook status to make fun of the fact that people bought your immature and sick joke.  
**

**UGH! I just wanted to share this with you because I think it's awful, morbid and it honestly still bothers the crap out of me, so I'm getting this off my chest, out of mind and into cyber-space with hopes that I won't be bothered about this pathetic girl's insensitive prank any longer.  
**

**Geesh, longest authors note ever. Sorry about that everyone.  
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**Here's Chapter Eleven. Please Read&Review, I truly appreciate it.  
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**Chapter Eleven: Into The Lion's Den And Beyond.  
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**Edward**.

During the drive back from Bella's my thoughts were consumed with the conversation that had taken place. The way her watery eyes gazed up at me with a look of disgust, and ultimately dismissal. Logically, I knew that was what I deserved and that I shouldn't have expected anything more or less than that. She was within her rights to feel the way she felt about me; Hell, I felt that way about myself.

Turning the corner I cut off a town car, it's horn blasting as it passed me, the driver flipping me the bird. Looking up I realized I was one block from home. I sighed, and continued driving until I met the stone-paved driveway of the home I shared with Tanya.

An overwhelming sense of foreboding hit me as I killed the lights and turned off the car. I didn't want to go inside anymore than I wanted to undergo castration, but I really had no choice. The pending conversation with Tanya hung over my head like my own personal rain cloud, and I couldn't escape it, no matter how hard I wanted to; No matter how hard I tried.

As I stepped out of the car, the curtains shifted, and the knowledge that I could no longer run from this hit me like a ton of bricks.

I took a deep breath and straightened my shoulders.

Placing a stoic expression of indifference on my face, I mentally prepared myself for what was coming; A beautiful disaster of my own creation.

"Where have you been?" Tanya demanded as I walked through the door, her expression livid. The door slammed shut, the resulting sound echoed loudly in my ears.

I paused, carefully thinking about how I was going to respond.

"I went to Emmett's."

A shrill laugh escaped her lips as she narrowed her eyes.

"I called Emmett an hour ago. He said that you left and when I asked where he wouldn't tell me. Where the hell were you Edward?!"

"You want the truth?" I asked.

"Obviously." She sneered.

"I was at Bella's." No point in hiding the truth; It was all bound to come out sometime.

"What!? Why!?"

"I wanted to explain somethings to her." I replied honestly.

"Really? Like what Edward? What did you have to explain to _her_?" She asked. She was on the verge of hysteria now and I could feel it was the brink of no return. Now or never, I supposed.

"What happened between us at U Dub."

"Oh my god Edward! Was that the girl you played around with during your 'year of fun'?" She quoted.

I paused. "What do you mean 'year of fun'?" I asked.

She laughed, but the action held no humor.

"You think I didn't know about that did you? You think I didn't do a little snooping to find out why my boyfriend wanted to take a break? I'm not as stupid as you think I am Edward." Taking a seat on the couch, she leaned back and crossed her legs. It was a posture I'd seen her take many times. She was livid.

"Why are you doing this? Why do you want to ruin what we have over some bitch who wasn't smart enough to realize that she was your play-thing? You owed her no explanation Eddie, she was a game. We all have them. You think I spent my time waiting for you to return from U Dub? I had my fun too. I broke a few hearts but you don't hear me running all over Washington trying to right those wrongs. I taught them how to be strong in the face of a stronger enemy; I did them a service." She examined her fingernails grabbing a nail file off the table.

I stared at her in disbelief as she continued.

"Come on. Your going soft on me. I remember a time when we both would have laughed at their ignorance, when you had no qualms about crushing someone who stood in the way of 'your greatness'. You had so much promise, so much potential. It's wasted now. The sense of humanity that you've developed is holding you back from accomplishing things we both dreamed of. What happened to that Edward? Did one girl really change you that much?" She laughed, the sound chilled me to the core of my being.

Was I really that blind? Did I not see how ruthless she was, or was I only seeing what I wanted too?

"Tanya.. what the hell is wrong with you? Those are people your talking about!" I exclaimed incredulously.

"People? Pfft.. Please Edward. We're people. Those are second class citizens, a means to an end. They wouldn't exist without us." Speechless, I continued to stare at her as if she had grown a second head.

"What is wrong with you?" I repeated.

She looked up, her expression full of evil innocence; Even Lucifer was once considered an angel.

"Nothing. Something's wrong with you. You've lost your ambition and I've lost interest. I thought that maybe this was a phase, one that you would grow out of and finally see what mattered. Status, assets, wealth. All things you once coveted. It's sad to see someone with such promise become such a waste."

"Get out." I said.

She looked up, laughing. "I'll leave in the morning. Don't worry your precious head about it. Sleep on the couch, I'll be gone before you wake up to save all the kittens and puppies from the cold cruel world."

She made her way upstairs as I ran a hand over my face in disbelief.

I walked over to the liquor cart, poured myself a tall scotch and sat down.

She was as sick as I felt.

Coming to the conclusion that I had misjudged her, yet again, I realized I'd just been bested at a game I created.

"Fuck." I muttered before downing the scotch.

**Bella**.

"Alice, can you come over? I need to talk to you."

"Of course Bella." She replied, as I hit the end button.

I grabbed a cup out of the cupboard, poured the remaining whiskey in and took a sip.

The lyrics of a The Main Ingredient song played on repeat in my head.

"_Everybody play's the fool..."_ I snorted into my cup. They had no fucking idea.

Fifteen minutes later, Alice arrived and we were sitting in the kitchen.

"Why didn't you tell me your brother was such an ass?" I asked, looking at Alice as she poured herself a glass of wine from the bottle of Merlot she brought.

"I know this sounds... well, pathetic, but it wasn't my story to tell. I didn't want to get caught in the middle of something I didn't have first hand knowledge of, to be honest. It's really not my place." She took a sip of wine.

"But just so you know, I'm really sorry. I don't condone what he did for one second. But he's my brother, and I love him... no matter what idiotic thing he does. It's impossible for me to hate him forever, as much as I'd like too."

I sighed. I understood what she was saying but as much as I tried I couldn't agree. I didn't have a brother, but if I did, and he had done that to a girl, I don't know if I could forgive him.

"So, how did the conversation go?" She asked.

I laughed. "How the hell do you think it went? Awful."

I took another sip of my whiskey before continuing.

"I mean, I didn't say much, to be honest. I think I was too shocked."

"I'm not surprised." She muttered.

"Yeah, I bet your not." I replied.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing. I mean, it's just that I mean you knew what he was going to say before I did, so it's not surprising that you think I was shocked. You had god knows how long to absorb that information, I had seconds."

Averting her eyes, she looked into her glass of wine, muttering "I suppose you're right."

I snorted, the sound making me want to giggle yet I refrained.

The whiskey was making me warm and lightheaded.

"Alice, when he left he gave me his number. He told me if I ever needed to, or felt like it, to call him. What do you think that means?"

Alice's eyes widened in surprise. I guess she wasn't expecting me to say that.

"He did? Wow. I don't know Bella. I hate to sound obvious but maybe he wants you to call him. I think that he's seriously trying to make amends."

I sighed. I knew that. I was hoping that she had more insight into the inner workings of Edward Cullen, but I guess he was still a mystery to her as well.

"I don't know if I can forgive him." I stated honestly. More to the point, I didn't know if he deserved my forgiveness. Sure, he seemed pretty apologetic, but knowing he used me, when I thought I meant so much more to him... I wasn't sure where I stood anymore.

"I don't expect you to know that right off the bat, but give it time. Eventually you'll realize if you want to extend the olive branch or just close the door on him for good. It's all up to you Bella. No one expects you to immediately forgive him and try and move on from this, we all know it's going to take time. You just need to realize that for yourself."

I smiled. For a pint-sized fashionista, she sure gave good advice.

"Thanks Alice."

She smiled back. "No problem Bella. That's what friends are for."

After Alice left, I trudged upstairs, folding and refolding the piece of paper with Edwards number on it.

I didn't want to forgive him, and I'm sure if I didn't that no one would blame me. What he did was rotten and cruel; But holding grudges, it brings a person down, and I didn't want to stoop to his level. Or his former level. Whatever.

I sat on the edge of my bed, and prepared to be the bigger person.

In my whiskey haze, I didn't care what was expected, or what anyone thought. All I cared about was doing what I felt was right.

And that's exactly what I did.


	13. Chapter Twelve: I So Hate Consequences

**Authors Note: Hello ALL! So I'm going to keep this authors note light and relatively short. I'm writing a one-shot for StandUp4Katalina a wonderful charity to support Cancer research. I encourage you all to donate as much or as little as possible, a one-shot, or an outtake from a story that your working on, your beta skills; anything that you can do to help would be highly appreciated. Cancer is an awful disease and the diagnosis can ravage a family. Please take this opportunity to look outside yourself and help others in need.  
**

**I will be posting the links for SU4K on my profile for those looking for more information.  
**

**Here's chapter twelve.  
**

**I encourage you ALL to read and review.  
**

**Thank You.  
**

**-M  
**

* * *

**Chapter 12.**

**And I So Hate Consequences.  
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Sitting in the back of a small cafe, I couldn't help but be nervous.

I was fifteen minutes early and the coffee I ordered was making me jittery.

I really should have ordered a decaf.

Between my constant smoothing of the invisible wrinkles on my dress and fidgeting with the edge of the tablecloth, I was coming undone.

'This is okay. This was your idea.' I silently chanted to myself.

This was my choice and yet here I was a giant bundle of nerves in anticipation of his arrival. Every time the small bell attached to the door chimed, signaling the arrival of another patron, I looked up startled wondering if it was him.

Finally, at 2 o,clock on the dot, the bell chimed. I looked up. It was him.

In dark washed jeans and a creme pullover, his hands stuffed in his pockets, he looked like a walking Levi's ad and I had to admit, he was undeniably gorgeous. Spotting me at my small table in the back, he smiled and began making his towards me.

As he walked past the other tables, I could see the women turn to glance at him appreciatively.

I stood up as he approached, once again smoothing my cotton summer dress and fixing a small smile on my face.

"Hi."

He took his right hand out of his pocket, running it haphazardly through his bronze hair, a crooked grin fixed on his face. He looked nervous too.

I was secretly happy.

He took a seat and I did as well.

Looking at him sitting across the table from me, I couldn't help but chuckle.

"What's so funny?" He asked.

"Nothing. I was just thinking how silly it is that you're nervous. I mean, I don't know if you are, but you look kind of nervous. I'm nervous. Are you nervous? 'Cuz I am."

Shut up Bella, shut up.

He chuckled, his green eyes sparkled in a way I'd never seen before.

"A little." He admitted.

"Good." At least we were on even footing. Sort of.

"I'll admit, I didn't think you we're going to call me.. ever, especially not the same night I gave you my number, considering..." He trailed off.

"I know. Neither did I, to be honest. But.. I was too shocked to really say anything yesterday, and I just wanted... I don't know.. to ask you a couple of questions. Try and figure some stuff out for myself."

"That's fair."

The annoyed, angry, eighteen year old girl in my head wanted to say 'I'm surprised that you know what fair is' but I mentally shushed her.

"I'm not going to pretend for a minute that I understand the logic that went into treating me the way you did back then, that would be futile and a lie. I just have one question. Why did you even tell me in the first place?"

His previously carefree expression suddenly became somber, serious.

"I...I suppose it was because you deserved the truth. Not a fabricated story, but the cold, hard truth. It was the least I owed you, owed myself."

"Well, I'm glad that you did." I said, and I really was. I didn't want to live in a world of make-believe and fairy-tales. No matter how cold and cruel the world may be, I always wanted the truth.

"You know, some people say it sets you free, I think it sets you right. So, I want to thank you."

He looked up shocked, opening his mouth to interrupt, but I continued.

"I want to thank you for being honest. I know that it wasn't easy to admit that you treated me that way. That you thought of me with such little regard. It wasn't easy to hear, that was for damn sure, but I'm glad you did it. If you hadn't, I probably would have spent a good deal of my life over thinking my time at U Dub, and by extension, you. Wondering what I did wrong, if I did anything right...and always coming to the wrong conclusion. Now I know. I don't like it, not one bit, but I feel more at ease, calmer or something. So thank you Edward, for being honest to me at least once in the time you've known me."

I took a small sip of my coffee, silently laughing at the dumbfounded expression on his face.

"Do you want some coffee? I mean after all, this is a cafe."

"Um.. yeah, sure. I'll just go up to the counter and order something. Would you like something else?" He asked as he got up. As nice as all of this was, I was still on high alert.

"No thank you. I'm pretty happy with what I've already got."

When he returned the conversation stayed light and carefree, something I never thought I'd have with Edward. Parting ways an hour later, I was driving home, elated. I'd done it, and I didn't freak out and cry, scream or yell. I did everything the way I wanted. I had some control, for once and it felt awesome.

The next few days went by in a blur. Buying furniture with Alice was an adventure, and although I was happy to have the basics, I didn't want to endure that ever again.

Waking up the next day after the furniture 'debacle' as I'd begun to call it; I felt incredibly refreshed, considering the miniscule amount of sleep I had.

Seriously, five hours just wasn't enough.

I hurried through my morning routine and made myself an omelet. I was meeting Jasper and Alice for lunch later on so I didn't have the bacon, toast and hash browns I was craving, in hopes that we would be going somewhere that didn't have toddler sized portions.

I met up with Alice and Jasper at a place called El Pastorri an Italian and Mexican fusion restaurant. It was warm and inviting, the decor understated but with a touch of elegance.

The waiter directed me toward the table and to my surprise they were already seated.

I thought I was early, I guess I wasn't.

"Hey." I said once I reached them.

Jasper stood first to greet me, Alice followed.

Sitting down I was excited. It had been a while since I had seen Jasper and I wanted to know what was going on in his life; I needed a dose of Jasperality. He always kept me in check, and now was when I wanted it most.

"What's been going with you lately Mr. Stranger-Danger?" I joked, taking a sip of my water. It had a lemon slice floating in it which I fished out with my fork and placed on a napkin.

Who were they kidding? No one liked citrus in their water. No one.

He laughed momentarily before replying.

"I've been okay. It's been quite the adjustment being here... but you would know that better than anyone wouldn't you Bells?"

I giggled.

Touche.

"Yes, it has been. But quit deflecting. Tell me how things have been. What's new?"

Alice was uncharacteristically quiet, which put me on high alert. Normally by now she would have said something, unwarranted or not, she always had a her say; but not now.

"Well.. a lot of new things have been going on. I got a new job. Actually, it's in high finance."

My eyebrows skyrocketed to my hairline as I stared in disbelief.

"Seriously?" I never imagined him doing anything that... fancy. I guess Alice changed him more than I thought.

"Yeah. I am really enjoying it and it's good to have that kind of stability, you know?" He smiled, his hand reaching over and grabbing Alice's. It was like they had their own special language that one gesture could convey. It was more than I could ever hope to understand.

"Yes.. Totally. I understand. I mean that must be great. Is there anything else going on? Anything else new?"

I could tell by his expression he thought I was prying, but I was. I wanted to know what I was missing out on with my Edward drama. I felt like I didn't really know him anymore.

"Well.. there is something." Alice said, her voice barely above a whisper.

My brow crinkled. I smelled a cover-up. A hidden agenda. Something about this impromptu lunch was off and I wanted to know what it was... yesterday.

"Well, me and Jazzy have some news." Alice said, her voice a little louder than before. Stronger, more assured of what she was about to say.

I took a sip of water, preparing.

"We're pregnant." Jasper said.

I choked.

Sputtering incoherently, I wiped my mouth with Jasper's napkin.

"What?!" I exclaimed.

"We're.." I cut Alice off.

"No I heard you. UGH! What the fuck!"

I was upset. Not at Alice and Jasper but at myself.

Why hadn't I spent more time with Jasper after he followed me here because of my personal drama? Why did I let our friendship fall to the wayside because I had Edward drama? All my drama drama drama...

I guess this is what I got for being so self-involved.


	14. Understanding

**Authors Note! **

**Ahhh! Hello readers! Did I not say I would post before the end of the month? I did, I did! Ahoy! Ect.  
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**A big thanks to everyone who sent me kind words about my dogs untimely demise. I really appreciate it.  
**

**I'm getting back into the swing of things. Love me or hate me.  
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**I may or may not be influenced buy cheap vodka and my own ADHD brain.  
**

**Read and Review.  
**

**I love you for it, I do I do!  
**

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Chapter Fourteen

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Driving home from the restaurant I was in a complete daze. Everything that I'd been pushing down, and hiding from ,was now bubbling up, and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

It was irrational, and logically, I knew that, but it was still playing with my mind and my emotions. I hated this. I felt so out of control, out of place; I was so confused that every subsequent emotion felt foreign, like I'd never experienced it before.

I knew I over-reacted, but I just couldn't help it.

I knew I was jealous, but I couldn't help that either.

I was a plethora of emotions, mixing and wading, blending into each other until I didn't know which was which; I just was.

I pulled over three times on my way home, so distraught. I was unable to see behind the veiled curtain of sadness and the cascade of tears falling down my face. This was crap, I was being a complete bitch, and the worst part was that I knew it.

I made it home in one piece, thankfully.

I kicked off my shoes, threw my keys and phone somewhere near the coffee table and headed upstairs.

I fell face first on the bed without taking my dress off or washing my face, makeup be damned. And for the first time in a long time, I cried myself to sleep.

I woke up disoriented and confused. My dress clung to the sheen of sweat that accumulated during the night. Needless to say, I felt like crap.

I stumbled down the stairs wearily looking for my phone. It was under the couch.

I had three missed calls and several unread messages. I pretended they didn't exist. I couldn't deal with Jasper or god forbid, Alice. I was too ashamed, too embarrassed to deconstruct my behavior and rationalize why I was such a bitch. Because to be honest, I didn't know.

I was brimming to the top, a cup overfilled. My mind was gorging on my unspent anger and unsettled emotions.

I had just sat down with a package of pop-tarts when my phone rang. I held my breath as I picked up my phone and looked at the caller-id, thinking it was Jasper. It was Edward.

I planned on ignoring it, letting it go to voice mail and pretending I never got his message. My hand however, moved on it's own and flipped it open, pressing the phone to my face before I had a chance to acknowledge the movement.

Traitor fingers. Traitor hand. Traitor, traitor, traitor.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XX

"Hello?" I half-whispered, my voice ending in a question.

"Hey. It's Edward." I almost laughed. Obviously.

"I know, I have caller-id." I replied.

He coughed. "Oh yeah. I was just calling to see if you were doing anything this afternoon. I know it's presumptuous but I thought that maybe..." He trailed off.

"Thought that maybe what?" I nearly barked. I coughed hoping to disguise my rudeness.

"Do you have a cold?" Edward asked.

"No."

"Really, maybe you should get that cough checked out." I rolled my eyes. So much for disguises.

"Did Jasper ask you to call?" I asked.

The phone was silent.

Finally he replied, "No."

My eyes narrowed. "Did Alice?"

"Yes."

"Oh I see."

"Bella, please. I would have called you anyway. Don't blame Alice."

I snorted, the sound loud and extremely unladylike, before responding.

"Oh really? I shouldn't?"

He sighed, the sound creating invisible static.

"I just-" I cut him off.

"Why did Alice ask you to call? What is the point? What's going on?" My questions came out in a hurried rush, my breath bated as I breathed heavily waiting for a response.

"She just wanted me to make sure that you were okay.. and I wanted to know how you were doing as well."

I felt awful. I was punishing him for something he didn't do, pushing my feelings and anxiety on him.

I took a deep breath, trying desperately to calm my nerves and continue the conversation in a somewhat civilized manner as the voice in my head chattered at me, berating me, a mile a minute.

Coughing, I shook my head, trying to shake out the unwanted visitor.

"Well.. Uhm, I'm... well.. thanks." I stuttered, stumbling over my words.

"Alice told me what happened last night, and I know that must be a shock to you. She said you didn't take it well." His voice was soft, soothing and way to comforting.

"Yeah, I didn't." I replied. That was the understatement of the century.

"She wasn't trying to hurt you."

I snorted. "I know that. No one get's pregnant to hurt somebody, unless your on a reality show or in the public eye."

Edward laughed, the sound rich and full, pulling at my heart strings.

"That's true."

"I didn't mean to... I didn't want to react so violently. It wasn't about the pregnancy." I mumbled.

"Oh." He sounded shocked, which didn't surprise me.

"It was a culmination of a lot of things. I'm on overload."

"That's understandable."

I laughed. "Is it?"

"Yes. It is. You don't have to explain yourself to me."

I sighed. He was right. It was Alice I had to explain myself to. It was her I had sins to atone for.

"I behaved so badly Edward. I don't know if Alice will forgive me. I don't know if I can forgive myself. These past months I've made everything about me. I didn't stop to think about anyone else. Honestly, I forgot people kept living while I've been in a non stop replay of the past."

Edward coughed. "I think that's my fault as well. I know I played a part in what's been bothering you. Even though you said you forgive me, I know it isn't forgotten."

"True."

"Look, I'm the last person who should be telling you this but I will anyway. Call Alice. Call Jasper. Fix this. I know how hard it is to feel bad about how you treated someone and constantly dwell on it. Bella, you don't want to regret this."

He was right. As much as I hated to admit it, he was.

"I know."

"Look, I have to go, but call Alice. I'll talk to you later okay?"

"Okay. Bye. And Edward, thanks."

"Anytime Bella, anytime."

Hanging up, I smiled. For the first time in months I felt in control.

I could fix this.

I had to.


End file.
